Opinion: From GH to Y&R, Soaps Are Making Fools of Smart Characters
Too many tales on General Hospital, The Young and the Restless, The Bold and the Beautiful, Beyond the Gates and Days of our Lives are dependent on characters acting like morons!
Chase-ing Logic
Some stupidity is needed to move stories forward because mistakes equal drama.
But GH’s Chase has devolved into a lunkhead whose faith in Willow has ruined his life. Enter Dante to call him on it.
Dante: “You have to believe Willow is innocent, because helping her put you where you are now.”
Chase (snarky): “And where is that?”
Dante: “You were demoted, and you’ve lost the wife and family you loved because you’re hellbent on defending Willow.”
Chase: “I’m defending the truth!”
Dante: “You’re buying into her story, again. You’ve blown up your entire life for a woman who will do anything to get what she wants — including manipulate you.”
Preach, Dante! The problem with Chase’s current thickness is that it negates his established record as a good cop. (Drew and Brennan both had “strokes” in Willow’s house and… crickets.) Dumbing Chase down to keep Willow out of jail feels like the easy way out, which it is.
Perhaps clever new cop Joe Fitzpatrick can remind Chase of his oath? Joe walked into the PCPD and said, “We should investigate what happened to Brennan,” and Dante said, “Okay.”
Joe asks excellent questions and isn’t intimidated by anyone, including his new roommate’s bulldozing sister. He caught Carly and Valentin standing over Brennan’s corpse, and by the end of the episode the duo was under arrest. That’s how you propel the action. Yes, Carly and Valentin are innocent, but they drink and they know things, to paraphrase Game of Thrones‘ Tyrion Lannister.
Alexis is Port Charles’s smartest lawyer, and she knows Willow is guilty. Her problem is that Ava has her backed into a corner via blackmail dirt.
Ava: “Your daughter tried to murder me and you covered it up. How about we skip to the part where you do what I want?”
Alexis: “Fine. Who did you kill this time?”
Ava didn’t actually kill Brennan, at least not intentionally; she just drugged him and hid his body (with Drew), so cutting a deal for immunity will suffice.
Alexis: (looking up): “Why, God, why?”
Half the town had a hand in Brennan’s death, which makes it a fantastic umbrella story. Clever cops only from now on!
Joy Ride
One of DAYS’s biggest stories features Joy Wesley, whose sole m.o. is manipulation. She returned to Salem in April with a baby that — surprise! — was Alex’s. She was secretly pregnant when she left town, so that tracks. What doesn’t track is no one noticing Joy’s transparent efforts to get Alex to leave his wife, Stephanie.
Joy entered the hospital last summer with spinal issues, had surgery, then faked paralysis to make Alex feel sorry for her. We saw multiple scenes of Joy jumping around her hospital room, then getting back in her wheelchair practically out of breath when the door opened. She also had prescriptions for muscle relaxers delivered to Brady Pub, which resulted in Philip being onto her.
Joy (to baby): “We have to pray your uncle Philip doesn’t say anything.”
Cut to Philip telling Stephanie how good Joy is at keeping secrets… Stephanie isn’t the sharpest Johnson in the shed, but how has ace Dr. Kayla Brady not busted this phony? Yes, Joy was able to fool a “nerve induction test” thanks to the pills, but her fake attempts to regain mobility are so obvious.
Joy (to unseen baby): “I really hated being away from you in that hospital and having to pretend I needed that stupid wheelchair just so I could get your daddy’s attention away from that witchy wife of his.”
Is there a lazier form of exposition than sharing a character’s raison d’être with an empty crib? This story has made Kayla, Alex and Stephanie dopes, and the dialogue is not helping.
Joy: “Guess what? I wiggled my toes.”
Alex: “You’re kidding!”
Philip finally spilled the beans on Halloween, causing Stephanie to confront Joy about the pills and call her a fraud. Joy “sobbed” and begged Alex to wheel her home. If he’s that dumb, he doesn’t deserve Stephanie — so what’s the point of this triangle?
Pregnant Paws
I was not a fan of BTG’s Bill being dense for so long re: his black widow bride. He’s a lawyer, for God’s sake — he susses people out for a living! But since Bill learned Hayley conned him and tried to kill him, he’s gone scorched earth. Not even her pregnancy is softening him. He demanded to be present for the ultrasound and then asked for a paternity test.
Hayley (faking sincerity): “I’m not looking to con you again. I care deeply about this pregnancy.”
Bill: “Yeah, right. I’ll refrain from saying everything I’m thinking about you because I’m tired of looking at your raggedy ass.”
That pendulum swung back hard, but it was long overdue. Next up: Can clueless Vanessa learn Joey had a hand in her husband’s death? Or that his sister Heather is a murderer? A girl can dream.
Crimes Of Fashion
The pendulum is swinging back hard for B&B’s Katie, too. She quit Forrester and struck out on her own with Bill, making legit offers to Eric, Hope and Zende to join her at Logan. Brooke lost it and screamed at Katie that she was 1) not her sister anymore and 2) no longer part of the Logan family. So how is Brooke so undone by Katie’s actions now?
Brooke (to Ridge): “My sister is lost to me. I really miss her.”
Brooke being Brooke, she reached out to Bill in secret to discuss Katie’s behavior, which could only end in disaster — and it did when Katie spied a text from Brooke on Bill’s phone. She held the phone up to his face to open it (great use of technology B&B!) and got an eyeful of their text chain, including Bill using a stallion to sign off. Since that was Brooke’s nickname for Bill when they were together, Katie went off.
Katie: “You and Bill behind my back? You disgust me! You are trying to seduce my husband because it’s the only thing you know how to do.”
Brooke: “You stole Zende. You stole Hope. You have to control yourself.”
Say what you want about Brooke, she’s a successful executive (#BeLieF) who should absolutely know better. Her sister offered Forrester employees a better deal and they took it. That’s business, baby!
Restless Guile
Why do I love Kyle and Victoria pulling the wool over everyone’s eyes so much? Y&R’s Newmans and Abbotts aren’t stupid, but they are holier than thou and think they know everything. None of them would ever think the six-times married Victoria would sneak around with her daughter’s former fiancée. Victoria knows her affair will score high on the ick factor for Claire (and Victor will freak!), but Kyle and his love nest were too hard to pass up.
Victoria: “I am so tired of always playing it safe.”
Kyle (kissing her): “You are a very surprising woman.”
Dumbing a character down can work when they’re blinded by love, which Kyle clearly is. It was not wise of him to rendezvous with Victoria in London after he told his family he was going to Paris.
Cane: “Of all the gin joints…”
Billy: “I thought you were going straight to Paris. What the hell are you doing here?”
Kyle’s evasiveness about why he stopped in London raised Billy’s suspicions to the point where Cane was like, enough.
Cane: “Not everything is a conspiracy theory, Billy.”
Billy: “When it comes to the Newmans and the Abbotts, some things are.”
That’s the smartest thing he’s ever said.
Hey. It’s only my opinion.
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