It’s Only My Opinion: General Hospital, Y&R, DAYS, B&B and BTG — Are Soap Characters Getting Smarter?
Are soap characters getting smarter? Judging by current storylines like Dante (Dominic Zamprogna) actually solving a mystery on General Hospital, Michael (Christian LeBlanc) acting like a proper lawyer on The Young and the Restless, Hope (Annika Noelle) taking charge of her life on The Bold and the Beautiful, Marlena (Deidre Hall) sharing her years of experience on Days of Our Lives, and Joey (Jon Lindstrom) stirring the pot on Beyond the Gates, yes!
Son Of A Gun
One of my biggest pet peeves is dumbing down the police to advance story, so it’s refreshing that GH let Dante figure out that the real shooter on the pier was his own son. He had help from Elizabeth, who was on duty when Lulu brought Rocco to the hospital with a wound from the gun. They put the pieces together that Jason covered for Rocco (who was protecting Britt) in some really fun scenes that brought us along with them.
Dante: “Why would Jason have a gunshot wound when he’s a pro?”
Because he purposely injured himself to make his guilt more believable. That discussion sparked Elizabeth’s memory that she treated Rocco with the same hand injury, and they started listing names of people Jason might protect.
Dante: “Sonny’s grandson would be on that list… Jason took the fall for my kid!”
Liz: “That is something Jason would do.”
Dante immediately confronted his ex-wife, who came clean.
Lulu: “I’m the one that decided not to make you choose between letting Jason rot in prison or sending our son to jail.”
Dante: “In what universe would I let our son take the fall for this?”
Lulu reminded Dante that Rocco went to juvenile detention for the fairly innocent break-in at Dalton’s lab. They battled, and Dante emerged as the heart of the story. Lulu is a shrill liar with terrible judgment, Rocco is a freaked-out teen, and Britt turns on a dime. Here’s Britt to Lucas last week: “I’m leaving, I’m staying, I’m needed here, I should die of Huntington’s, let’s get drunk.” Make up your mind! You were literally dead a year ago, so we’re good either way.
Stroke of Genius
The soap smarts carried over to Isaiah Gannon when he got called into ADA Turner’s office about that silly car accident, which we all know was caused by Jordan deciding she needed to nuzzle with Curtis more than she needed to keep her eyes on the road. Turner barely got two questions out about what kind of car Isaiah drives and where he was on April 8 before the doc got wise.
Isaiah: “Talk to my lawyer. Until then, I have nothing to say to you.”
That’s how you deal with law enforcement — especially when you don’t have a good alibi (Isaiah was secretly treating Rocco’s injured hand).
For how to deal with a different enemy, Carly delivered a master class. She peppered Nina with questions she already knew the answers to after Nina jabbed a syringe into Brennan’s back at Willow’s during his fight with fugitive Valentin (who Carly has been hiding since Christmas).
Carly (baiting Nina): “Why were Valentin and Brennan there? Maybe Willow was helping Valentin? The fact that an international fugitive like Valentin was at the congresswoman’s house? That would be catnip for the media. If the PCPD and the WSB find out, it’s going to get really uncomfortable for Willow.”
Especially since Willow and Nina have been drugging Drew with the same syringe Nina used on Brennan. C’mon Carly, solve this!
Oh, Brother
But the soap gods giveth and the soap gods taketh away: Sonny pulling a gun on Ric made zero sense unless Sonny is off his medication. Ethan was back in town two minutes when he tattled to Sonny that Ric met with Ava at the Metro Court, which must mean he turned against Sonny. Huh?
Sonny (advancing with a gun): “You flat out lied to me!”
Ric: “Ava was helping me buy a gift for Elizabeth!”
Who the hell is Ethan Lovett to rat out Ric and have Sonny believe him? Our favorite mobster needs to inspect his dosage because — checking my notes — swapping Sonny’s pills for placebos is totally in Ava’s wheelhouse.
To Catch A Predator
Michael Baldwin is currently running rings around all the people trying to outfox each other on Y&R because he’s acting like a real attorney. When Phyllis probed Lauren about anything Michael might have told her about Victor’s past crimes, Michael jumped in to explain attorney/client privilege.
Michael: “Some men offer their wives jewelry. I offer plausible deniability.”
Michael kissed Lauren and then…
Phyllis: “This is sweet, but it’s cutting into my billable hours.”
Ha! Phyllis is nothing if not astute, so naturally she worked it to her advantage when she ran into formerly dead murderer/now amnesiac Matt Clark.
But… sidebar. You have to establish why someone would not call the police on an escaped killer. Noah ran into Matt (who just tried to blow up Nick, Sharon, Noah and Sienna) and they fought. Matt escaped.
Noah: “I asked Audra to call my dad, except Audra didn’t have Dad’s number so she called Grandpa who didn’t answer. If he had answered, maybe we could have stopped Matt from getting away.”
What? A phone call to Victor would catch a murderer faster than dialing 911?! It’s nonsense.
Crime Of Fashion
Speaking of nonsense, B&B’s Brooke asking Ridge to demote his daughter so she could have the co-CEO job at Forrester was the same nonstarter as that surprise “retirement” party Ridge and Brooke threw for Eric — and it netted the same results.
Ridge (hesitant): “Brooke feels maybe it wouldn’t be the worst idea if she was co-CEO.”
Steffy: “The three of us together? That’s funny. Wait — you want me to step down? Choose your daughter over your wife for once. Stand up to Brooke.”
He did, which was the wise choice since Forrester’s numbers are good and Steffy wouldn’t have resigned without a giant fight anyway.
Hope, who is smart and pays attention, knew that.
Brooke: “You think Steffy will become unglued?”
Hope: “Unglued, unhinged, name an ‘un.’”
Good call. Brooke’s initial reaction was to tell Ridge she was “deeply disappointed,” but that won’t be the end of it. Hope is the canary in the coal mine: The Forrester workers are restless.
Zende (to Carter, re: R.J.): “I am here to create, but now the golden child is back in town. Steffy hates Hope and it has nothing to do with business — it’s all personal. I have worked too hard to be a footnote on Ridge, Jr’s path to the top!”
Psst, Zende: I hear Katie is hiring.
Death Becomes Her
There was Lexie waking up from a long coma in a hospital room on DAYS with her husband Abe and her son Theo by her side.
Abe: “You were gone almost 15 years. Eventually I met someone. We got married.”
Tears streamed down Lexie’s face, which was hard to believe. How is she surprised? Theo is a grown man, Abe is gray, and half of Salem has passed away since she bit the bullet. I mean they really died — like Caroline, Stefano, Victor, John and Doug — not fake died like Lexie who we’re supposed to believe was brought back to life after well over a decade in a pod in the basement.
Luckily, they all have Dr. Marlena Evans to turn to. She can counsel these confused souls thanks to expensive experience in this area.
Marlena: “I’m feeling so sad for Paulina. I remember when Roman came back [from the dead]. I had two wonderful men in my life.”
Kayla: “It caused a lot of pain for all of you.”
Marlena: “I hope they don’t have to go down that same path that I did.”
Fearless prediction: They will.
True Blood
Joey is the straw that stirs the drink on BTG and it really works. In the same episode he 1) learned Smitty was doing something fishy at a motel and 2) confronted him.
Joey: “How much does your husband know about your clandestine meetings?”
Smitty (defensive): “Martin knows my sources prefer to talk away from prying eyes.”
It looks like BTG is bringing that illegal plasma ring story to a close (please, soap gods) so using it to create conflict for Smitty and Martin makes sense. But “The Impaler” better be someone disposable. When it comes to getting blood on his hands (pun intended) Joey Armstrong is waaay too smart for that.
Hey. It’s only my opinion.
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