This interview originally appeared in the December 2, 1997 issue of Soap Opera Digest.
Nancy Lee Grahn (Alexis Davis, GENERAL HOSPITAL) has come to a wondrous realization in recent years. “If you build it, it will come,” she announces assuredly. “I’ve become a big believer that if you have a clear, pure thought about something, if you have nice fantasies about it, and you can see it happening, it very often does.”
In 1989, for example, Grahn professed an intense desire to one day share screen time with daytime legend Anthony Geary (Luke, GH). “He’s such an innovative actor. I always thought it would be such fun to work with him,” she says, marveling at the fact that she’s lucky enough to be doing so now.
Following SANTA BARBARA’s demise in 1992, which ended her run as Julia Wainwright Capwell, Grahn tried her hand at what the rest of the show-biz world had to offer. Ultimately, she concluded that she wanted to be back on a soap. “I wished it to be GH,” Grahn says. “GH is very smart. It’s run by people that I respect, women that I respect. I thought it was the best soap on the air for me.”
Above and beyond all of her acting ambitions, Grahn has yearned to become a mother. “I’ve been dreaming about that for a long time,” she says softly. And planning for it subconsciously. “It’s funny. I bought a Ford Explorer, and I thought: The next thing I’m going to do is buy a car seat. Now I have the family car. IF I build it, it will come.”
It wasn’t long after that Grahn discovered that she is pregnant. “I’m delighted; it means everything to me.” She’s due in March. “This is the greatest honor that could ever be bestowed upon me. If I want to be the best at something, it’s motherhood. That’s always been important to me. I had such a great mother, and I have sisters who are such great mothers. That’s a legacy. It’s not an obligation to pass that on, but I think it’s a great opportunity to pass it on.”
Relaxing in the idyllic beach house co-owned by her former SB cast mate Jed Allan (C.C. Capwell), Grahn exudes a quiet sureness. “I’m at a really good point in my life,” she says with a smile. “Something in the last few years really kicked in. There’s still plenty to experience and to learn, but the way I go about doing things now is with much greater ease. Now I know that if you get yourself in a place where you can receive things — which is basically not worrying, not being neurotic, not thinking negatively, and just letting things flow — you’re a vessel for things to come to you.”
Grahn concedes that her mind-set today is a far cry from the one she used to have. “I went into SB going, ‘I want it, and I want it now!’” she roars, re-enacting her brashness of yester-year. “I demanded a story. I’d kick and scream and torment myself and everyone else until I got what I wanted. I was young and feisty, and I really didn’t care whether I got fired. That was good in a sense, because I was fearless. But there was so much anger [inside me], so much impatience. It was a whole different way to go about life. It’s interesting to be able to look back after 10 years and consider the differences in how I view things now.”
Grahn attributes the strides she’s made, oddly enough, to single life and unemployment. “As a single person, you have a lot more time to work on yourself and to be introspective. You can examine yourself, look at things you don’t like, and make the effort to change them. That’s kind of what I did,” she explains. “Maturation is another element, and spiritual growth — faith and trust. Also, being out of work [post-SB] and realizing how lucky I was in the first place to have that job. Gratitude would be a way to sum that up.”
Aside from exploring herself, Grahn also explored the world around her. She took a well-deserved break after SB and traveled Europe with her then-beau, Matthew Laurence (Mel, BEVERLY HILLS, 90210). It was during their excursion that she developed the idea for her travel show, SEE AMERICA. “That was just for me to experience some things,” Grahn says, noting that while the pilot for German television never got picked up, the education she received while making it was incomparable. “I worked on my own. I produced it. I was in it. I did everything, which was fascinating.”
By the time Grahn returned to the States, she was back on the audition circuit, landing nighttime guest spots and a role in her first feature film, Children of the Corn III — Urban Harvest. She played a mom who met her demise and the hands of the evil corn kids. “It was the silliest movie. Pretty gross,” Grahn says with a laugh, describing the flick as a “cult thing for people who like Freddie (of Nightmare On Elm Street).” So why did she do it? “An actor needs to work. I wouldn’t have done it if I had to rip my clothes off, or I there was violence that seemed realistic. Then I would have said no, whether I needed the job or not. But this was fantasy.”
And, of course, with the project came the dream that more films would follow. It was not to be. “I realized that I could go out for movies,” she notes. “But because I’m not a man, the parts I would audition for were minuscule. So minuscule that it was boring — really boring.”
Television proved a more intriguing outlet, as Grahn landed parts on the now-defunct MODELS INC (as detective Beverly Towers) and the critically acclaimed MURDER ONE (as newswoman Connie Dahlgren). “MURDER ONE was quite an experience,” Grahn rhapsodizes. “The intelligence and meticulousness that went into that show were so brilliant. It was a very sophisticated show, and I’m really proud to have done it.”
MODELS INC was definitely of a different ilk, along the lines of MELROSE PLACE, where Grahn recurred as Denise Fielding earlier this year. Yet, Grahn won’t rag on either show. “Apparently the audience wants to look at that. They’ve got to write what the audience is going to watch,” she says diplomatically. “Is there too much sleeping around on MELROSE? Yeah. But as long as it’s safe sex, sex doesn’t bother me. Violence bothers me.”
Fortunately, Grahn discovered a happy medium at GH, which she joined in September 1996. She was more than ready for the move. “I wanted a character. I wanted to feel involved with something,” Grahn says. “I missed the steadiness of daytime. I realized that it’s a sanctuary for me, that I feel most at home on a soap set.”
The gig has been comfortable from the get-go. “I wanted into GH and people were so nice. ‘Big Stuey’ (Stuart Damon, who plays Alan) gave me the biggest hug. Everyone was so warm and welcoming,” she recalls. The mood on the set and Grahn’s new halcyon demeanor helped her reconcile the fact that Alexis seriously lacked definition. “I came in and didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t really understand who the character was. She was blurry. But instead of going nuts, I just thought: I’m going to wait and see where this goes, float a bit.” Her old self wouldn’t have been so acquiescent. “But I don’t recognize that part of me anymore.”
“Also, I walked into a place that wasn’t my home,” Grahn continues. “On SANTA BARBARA, it was a different setup. We were all part of a new show and experimenting. GH is a machine that’s been running for a long time. Out of respect for the actors, I couldn’t walk in and go, ‘Me, me, me.’ I would have deservingly been booted out of there. So I waited my turn, and faith worked to my advantage. Alexis is becoming an interesting part.”
Grahn looks forward to what they’ll dream up for Alexis in the ensuing months. “I’d like to keep her as complex as possible — interesting, vibrant and emotional so that the audience can really get into her,” says Grahn, who likes Alexis’ sense of humor with Luke, sensuality with Ned, mystery and familial problems with the Cassadines. “One her background is exposed, it will create more depth for her.”
No matter what turns the character takes, Grahn doubts that Alexis will ever resemble the real her. “Julia really reflected me,” Grahn maintains. “Alexis is very different. She comes from a bad place. She had a lot of strikes against her even before she developed and became a woman. She grew up in a place where people kill, manipulate and arm people against each other. I certainly didn’t come from a place like that.
“I had very loving parents. I mean, they weren’t Ozzie and Harriet, but I was always told that I could do anything I wanted. SO those were two aces in the hole.”
Grahn’s parents even supported her decision to attend the Neighborhood Playhouse in New York for two years instead of going to college (she was accepted at Northwestern University). It was actually during her training there that she made her daytime debut. “I was on ONE LIFE TO LIVE for 10 months. I played Beverly Wilkes, Marco Dane’s secretary,” Grahn says. While the role “wasn’t great, it was tough for me to realize that I wasn’t very good and had a lot of work to do. I actually learned a lot, like how to play around and have a sense of humor with Gerald Anthony (ex-Marco Dane),” she says. “And I used to watch Judith Light (ex-Karen Wolek) all the time. I would watch her and think: God! It must be great to just be sooo good. She was like a full-bodied wine. I thought: I hope I get to be competent enough someday to be that good.”
If you build it, it will come.
