PASSIONS Recaps Week of Aug. 1, 2005
Friday, August 5, 2005
Eve, wearing a shiny black top (did Harmony have a sale on shimmery clothing?) tended to a wounded Julian. Eve told TC and Liz that Julian says Liz forced herself on him; Liz insisted that he raped her. “Julian is a low-down jerk just like his father and all the other Cranes,” TC stormed, making sure to get in his daily anti-Crane ranting. Julian urged Eve not to listen to Liz’s accusations. “Julian seduced me,” Liz stated.
Whitney was aghast that she and Chad had committed incest. Again. “We’re in love,” Chad argued. “We’re gonna burn in Hell,” Whit feared. “Why would God bless us with this love if he intended to punish us for it?” Chad reasoned. Whitney believed that God was punishing them by making Miles cry non-stop (guess God punishes all new parents then?). “What is wrong with me? Am I some sort of freak? How come I can’t resist temptation?” Whit asked. She also wondered how they could’ve had sex without protection … again. Chad couldn’t understand why Whitney was so upset. “This is about Miles and us,” she began, then revealed that Miles is his biological son, not Fox’s.
Jessica and Simone hugged as they watched the tsunami waters from a safe perch. Jess was shocked that Simone had saved her; Simone explained that even though she and Kay were best friends, she’d always considered Jess to be a close friend, too. Jessica questioned where Simone had been if she hadn’t gone to Calfornia as everyone had thought; Simone revealed that she’d been in Harmony all along. Jessica concluded that whatever Simone was dealing with involved a guy, but Simone insisted that it didn’t. Instead, she turned her attention to Jess’s hooker wear (she was still in the black-knit mini dress and thigh-high boots at this point). Jess revealed that she was trying to help Spike by prostituting herself. “Spike had you turning tricks? God, I hate men!” an astonished Simone yelled. Jess argued that Spike loved her so much he trusted her to be with other men (Ummm, okay, hon). Jess said that she wasn’t sure if Spike had survived the tsunami; Simone wished him dead. “How can you say that? Whatever did Spike do to you?” Jess asked. “He turned you into a hooker!” Simone pointed out. Jess flashed back to stabbing and killing a john and Spike telling her she’s a murderer, but wouldn’t tell Simone what was bothering her. When she planned to look for Spike, Simone urged her to look for her family. “Spike’s my family now,” Jess said. Just then, Spike reappeared.
Rebecca, wearing a super-tight shiny gold shirt (let’s just say we could tell how cold it was in the Crane mansion), told Gwen that she thinks Ethan and Theresa are together. “Would you give it a rest?” Gwen barked. “We just had a natural disaster.” Gwen, sick of her mom, went to leave; Becca worried for her daughter’s safety … but not because of the potential dangers the aftermath of the tsunami could present. “There are gangs of sex-starved men out there looking for female companionship,” she warned, slowly warming up to the idea. “Wait, I’m coming with you,” she decided. “Just as soon as I fix my hair.” Later, the ladies rowed across town. Becca (wearing a captain’s hat, no doubt a remnant from her days with Julian) sat back and commanded Gwen to stroke; Gwen was annoyed that her mother wasn’t doing any work. Gwen told her that they’re out there to help victims, not find Ethan and Theresa. Gwen was moved by the plight of the people suffering around them, but Rebecca was still set on finding her son-in-law. “Save your stength so you can club Theresa,” Becca advised her daughter.
Of course, Theresa, who was on a raft with Ethan and medical authorities, was busy thanking Ethan for rescuing her from the disaster. As they floated down the newly-created Harmony River, Ethan thought they should help others, but was told that T, whose artery was cut, needed medical attention ASAP. Later, she was brought to the medical refuge, where she was given a number and told she’d have to wait a while. Ethan was concerned about her having to wait so long; Nurse McSnippy told him that there were many other patients with injuries to tend to, as well. Ethan promised to stay with her.
Tabitha watched Thersesa getting rescued via her bewitched movie screen (better than CNN, we suppose) and marveled how she and Endora managed to cause so much chaos. “So many bad things have happened to so many people, I can hardly keep track of them,” she stated (that’s what we’re here for, Tabby).
Katherine shared her tsunami experience with Sheridan and Martin. Marty went to get the shaken woman a sherry, while Pilar got some warm clothing for little Mark. Sheridan decided to let Mark stay with her until things calm down. Tabby was surprised to see Sheridan with another little boy. “Someone’s bound to come crawling out of the woodwork to complicate things,” she sing-songed. “Sheridan’s life has always been one disaster after another.” She was also excited to see that Katherine and Martin had ridden into Pilar’s on Rachel’s coffin. Martin tried to remove it from the living room; the casket then cracked open. Tabby danced around her living room and raised a Martimmy to celebrate the disaster. “Soon, more secrets will be revealed,” she crowed. Sure enough, the corpse popped right out of the casket, looking Sheridan and Kat right in the eye. Now that’s what we call a “dead” end.
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