It’s Only My Opinion: GH, Y&R and Beyond the Gates’ Secrets Are Juicier Than DAYS and B&B’s
The walls are closing in on General Hospital‘s Willow and Nina, The Young and the Restless‘s Billy is nosing around Chancellor, and Beyond the Gates Bill looks ready to blab. But enough with EJ’s secrets and lies on Days of Our Lives, and Brooke punishing Katie for keeping mum on The Bold and the Beautiful.
Secrets Serviced
GH tried to get something going with the sorta-mystery about who was driving the car on Route 91 the night of Curtis and Jordan’s accident, but it’s a moot point because we don’t care. We all saw Jordan kiss Curtis and lose control of the car, and she admitted fault multiple times. That whole story was a non-starter, compounded by Brook Lynn — the guilty party! — manufacturing evidence against to frame Willow as the driver, getting caught by Chase, and then… nothing. Chase forgave his wife and poof, it was over. (For now.)
Funnily enough, that’s the only storyline involving Willow where she actually is innocent. Willow shot Drew, drugged him, took his job in Congress, made a deal with Brennan to get blackmail dirt on him, and kept it all hush-hush until…
Chase: “I’ve been asked to escort you to the police station.”
Willow: “Gulp.”
About time. It’s actually shocking that Willow might be brought down by her connection to Sidwell when Alexis, Trina and Kai have known she shot Drew for months. When the hammer came down, Willow was preparing to leave the country, so Nina stepped up and pushed the not-so-paralyzed Drew into a lake. Combine that with Nina’s sex romp with Brennan, and the mother-daughter duo is responsible for half the cover-ups in Port Charles. Well done!
Carly’s a close second, hiding fugitive Valentin in her attic for months. The jig is up, so everyone’s on her back to dump the dangerous dude — but Carly’s gonna Carly.
Carly: “Valentin accidentally poisoned me and I almost died. I’m still choosing to be with him.”
Brick: “I get the accidental polonium poisoning thing but, next to some of the things on Valentin’s resumé, him almost killing you actually qualifies as adorable.”
Carly: “I don’t know that Valentin. He went to the WSB to warn them Cullum was a double agent to save Josslyn.”
Brick: “One good deed doesn’t erase a lifetime of sins.”
It does to Carly. How refreshing was it that Brick went straight to Carly with his concerns instead of blackmailing Valentin out of town (or worse) behind her back like Sonny wanted him to? He did hand over an incriminating flash drive re: Valentin that you know Carly’s going to sneak off and watch. Sometimes it really pays to move story along.
Beyond the Pale
BTG’s Dani thought she’d heard everything from her shady ex-husband Bill until he proposed they clandestinely cheat on their new spouses — with each other.
Bill: “If I can keep our last escapade a secret, imagine what I can do with future ones.”
Dani: “One secret. One escapade. There will never be another one.”
Bill: “Oh, baby. Never say never.”
Indeed, their elevator romp during the tornado was hot and clearly indicated the ex-marrieds weren’t done with each other regardless of how much Dani wants them to be.
Dani: “Hayley will always be a side piece and I will never be one.”
Bill: “You’re never hotter than when you’re caught between wanting to murder me and wanting to do me.”
Ha! As secrets go, Bill’s young bride has been trying to kill him for over a year and it’s past time for someone to bust her. Vernon called Bill’s health issues a “blaring siren,” which Bill ignored. That plays right into Hayley’s murderous plan: She’s got him drinking protein shakes laced with toxin and “working out” to make his heart give out. C’mon, Bill, you’re smarter than this.
As is Dani, who didn’t pick up on Andre’s angst when a bottle of champagne arrived in a plain brown wrapper with no signature. She opened it right away and poured, which begs the more immediate question: Why on earth would classy Dani Dupree drink warm champagne out of a box?
Days of Whine and Posers
I was not on board with the story of EJ secretly bringing Lexie back to life in the basement after 14 years (!) and I reject Abe ditching Paulina for that DiMera wannabe. The only believable way to bring back a long-dead character is with the original actor, and even then it’s a stretch. Pass.
We’re at the point with EJ where everyone in town should immediately accuse him when anything goes wrong because he’s behind almost all of it. He covered up the toxic well water that made Holly sick by planting pills in her bag which was so obvious, yet he got away with it.
Holly (defensive, to Sarah): “I am not going to be called a liar, especially not by someone who claims to love me.”
EJ (to Rita): “I take no pleasure in making it look like Holly relapsed, but I had no choice.”
Miss me with EJ discussing his crimes out loud, especially when he’s planning murder.
EJ (on phone in the DiMera living room): “I want Kristen gone.”
It’s hard to care about the secrets roiling around Salem right now because they’re all plot, plot, plot. EJ’s crimes, Joy’s machinations, Cat’s lies, Gwen’s kidnapping, DiMera/Titan battles… wake me when Maggie resurfaces and brings some heart back to the Kiriakis mansion.
Sibling Riflery
The Logan secret is out on B&B, and it was a fun one. Katie striking out on her own, secretly hiring Hope away from Forrester Creations as her lead designer, shocking the fashion world with an amazing debut, pissing off Brooke and the Forresters, all good, soapy storytelling.
But now we’re stuck with a contrived Forrester vs. Spencer tale which asks us to believe 1) Brooke and Donna would turn their backs on their sister because Katie accepted her husband’s financial backing to start her own company and 2) Will being a Spencer means he’s not good enough for Electra Forrester. Ahem: Steffy Forrester was married to Liam Spencer three times and they have a child together named Kelly.
No one batted an eye at that, so this sudden outrage at Will/Electra is not believable. B&B would do better to focus on the drama of how Brooke could turn her back on Katie after Katie forgave Brooke for sleeping with her husband Bill and then marrying him.
Brooke: “Get out of this house. You made a choice to be a Spencer.”
So did Brooke! Two-faced Donna chimed in that Katie’s “betrayal” felt like when their dad left them as children.
Katie (incredulous): “You think me wanting to step out of your shadow is the same as our father abandoning us?”
That’s as preposterous as Ridge — who’s been married 14 times — judging Will unworthy to date Electra because of his last name.
American Psychos
The biggest question on Y&R is how two psycho killers and a deranged doctor could be driving so much story. The formerly smart Phyllis is dating back-from-the-dead murderer Matt Clark, and the Abbotts think they can single-handedly take down Patty Williams and Dr. Markham. Kyle’s plan is to trick Patty into turning on Victor.
Jack: “Why would Patty help you? Victor paid her handsomely to do his dirty work.”
Kyle: “Patty is welcome to think there is something in it for her.”
Jack: “Oh, your plan is to play her. I thought that was a good plan too. I ended up with a knife in my stomach.”
Cut to Diane who plans to go after the nut job who held her hostage.
Diane: “I’m going to find Markham myself!”
Riiiiight. I’m much more interested in Billy’s belief that there’s a secret hidden at Chancellor.
Billy: “Do you know what Jill’s hiding?”
Cane (exasperated): “Is it impossible for you to just do the job?”
Billy: “Jill is hiding something. I know it. And it’s big.”
A secret involving Jill and/or Katherine’s rich history with Chancellor is so much better than another revenge tale with those regurgitated nutbags. Bring it!
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