(From l.) GH’s Alexis (Nancy Lee Grahn), BTG’s Anita (Tamara Tunie), DAYS’s Orpheus (George DelHoyo), Y&R’s Traci (Beth Maitland) and B&B’s Hope (Annika Noelle)

The Best

General Hospital: Ric and Alexis’s Kumbaya

Diane was shocked to walk into her office and find her law partner lying prone on the floor — why had Alexis gone all “hippy-dippy”? She was meditating in preparation for a meeting with her hated ex-husband Ric so they could strike a truce and stop upsetting their daughter, Molly. Alexis asked Diane to stay and referee. “Do I have time to make popcorn?” she quipped.

Ric entered and took the lead, acknowledging that he baits Alexis into arguments because of their long and difficult history but it’s unfair to Molly and he’s sorry. “I accept your apology,” said Alexis. “And I accept yours,” responded Ric. “I didn’t apologize,” retorted Alexis. Diane quickly jumped in and told the exes to quit while they’re ahead and shake on it, which they did. Molly showed up and was happily surprised to learn her mother had accepted an olive branch from her father (after being encouraged to do so by Cody). That was Diane’s cue to leave, but not before offering some parting words.

“That was so much more than I could have hoped for,” praised Diane. “Thank you for inviting me!”

Bold and Beautiful: Girls Gone Riled

Often when soaps do a themed episode it’s preachy and thin on story, but not this one. The March 27 all-female show honoring Women’s History Month was written and directed by Heather Tom (Katie) and showcased mother/daughter teams Taylor/Steffy and Brooke/Hope. The latter packed the biggest punch.

“How could you do this to me?” cried Hope, upset that Brooke stood by when Steffy fired her from Forrester Creations. Brooke countered that she lost the love of her life over Hope and Carter’s machinations and only stayed on as CEO during the takeover for Ridge. There it is, cried Hope — Brooke choosing her love life over her daughter yet again. And where is Ridge? He made a fool of Brooke for the millionth time by going back to Taylor.

Katie tried to dial down the temperature by stopping Hope from slapping her mom (!) and reassuring her niece that she hasn’t “lost” Brooke, but this was definitely a turning point for the fired designer. Yes there were too many references to “the Logan women” in the episode, and yes Taylor exulting that Ridge “picked her!” was embarrassing since Ridge has been waffling between Brooke and Taylor for over 30 years (and always will). But when Hope sobbed that she’s “lost everything” it was the first moment of clarity she’s had in years because, as Brooke painfully pointed out, Hope has no one to blame but herself.

Beyond The Gates: Anita’s Gift Rap

Anita Dupree has seen some things. We know that by the regal way she carries herself and the confidence she inspires in her family. So when her granddaughter Naomi confided that she’d been approached about taking a sexual harassment case against Bill’s firm, Anita considered her response. “You’ll be like David going against Goliath without a slingshot,” she said, careful to add that Naomi is a smart, capable lawyer with a “fire for justice” who can do anything. What about the fallout for the family if Naomi sues her own father? Just another day in the neighborhood, scoffed Anita. Dupree women can do anything.

That sparked a reminiscence about the good old days when Anita was singing with the girls on the road in a station wagon, surviving on fast food and soda. She had a great solo career and as much success as a Black actress could have back then in Hollywood, and then married the love of her life Vernon. The strength Anita needed to accomplish all that runs through the veins of all the Dupree girls, including Naomi. “We don’t let anyone dim our spotlight,” asserted Anita.

And then she proved it by launching into a rap that started with “I’m Anita Dupree” and ended with “I got the boom, boom, boom” adding hips for emphasis. Naomi was incredulous at her grandma’s creativity and appreciated her advice. “That’s what I’m here for,” beamed the most stylish rapper in Fairmont Crest. “To provide wisdom — and look fabulous while doing it.”

Young and Restless: Traci Figures It Out

Traci started putting the pieces together about her errant fiancé after Sharon relayed the details of her and Phyllis’s kidnapping: The clinic, the gas and the timing all linked up to the alerts Traci had seen on Alan’s phone. She took her suspicions to Jack who responded that assuming Alan was a psycho killer was a big leap to make because of a few phone alerts. “There are too many red flags,” countered Traci.

Jack agreed something was off, so the Abbott siblings reached out to Chance to get the police perspective; he advised luring Alan to Genoa City. Jack called Alan with the excuse that the Abbotts want Traci to get married in their family home instead of Paris, and he agreed to return. “Our next order of business is finding out who Alan really is,” pronounced Jack. Traci’s on it. She’ll convince Alan her love is unconditional and try to get him to confide in her, but at the end of the day she hopes she’s wrong.

So let’s review: Alan (or was it Martin?) drove Ashley to madness, killed his own twin brother, and tormented Phyllis and Sharon. What could possibly go wrong?

 

The Worst

GH: Enough Already With Kristina

Kristina lost the baby she was carrying for her sister Molly in a hotel accident last summer and has been blaming Ava ever since. She turns on anyone who calls the baby by the legal name Molly gave her (Irene) instead of the name the unglued Kristina took to calling her (Adela), talks to “her” baby at the grave, and is still vowing revenge even though Molly — the actual mother — has worked through her grief and is trying to move on.

“Is that the sound of Kristina acting even more unhinged than usual?” yelled Ava when she heard Sonny’s daughter pounding on her door. Yes. Ava snarked that Kristina should stay away from the window and the argument escalated to Ava insisting her battle with Sonny is just to protect Avery which is something Kristina can’t understand because she’s not a mother. Kristina’s response? She cut the brakes on Ric’s car (thinking it was Ava’s) causing Ric and Liz to go off the road.

Are we supposed to be Team Kristina here? Because not only does she remain wildly out of line on the “Irene” front, we all saw that her fall was not Ava’s fault so it’s very hard to invest in her vendetta — especially now that two innocent people are paying for it.

DAYS: Cliffhangers Aren’t Us

The secret that Victor’s letter claiming Philip deserves half of Titan was forged has been percolating for months. One by one, people overheard and/or found out about the lie, putting the fragile detente between Philip and his half brother Xander at risk. The latest was Alex, who looked poised to spill the beans to all the major players in the Friday episode. “It’s about time the truth comes out in the open!” Alex declared as Stephanie, Philip, Xander and Sarah stood by breathlessly.

Cut to Marlena searching for John as Patch declared that something on a desk looked promising. Oh, what’s this? “I should have known,” Patch eye rolled. Just then, a man came up behind Marlena and said, “Forget your shampoo?” It was Orpheus in a classic Friday cliffhanger. Dun dun dun!

Nope. The action shifted back to Alex saying “The truth is….” and then chickening out and claiming he was referring to Stephanie’s affair with Philip. Why bring back a major villain like Orpheus and bury him in the middle of another ho-hum lie about Victor’s will? It’s Soaps 101 to give us a dramatic cliffhanger and make us wait until Monday!