It’s Only My Opinion For The Soap Week Ending December 27

It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas: (From l.) GH’s Carly (Laura Wright) and Brennan (Charles Mesure) and Y&R’s Nikki (Melody Thomas Scott) and Claire (Hayley Erin) made merry this year.

Most of our faves had a rough holiday but there were a few silver linings.

If ever there was a soap opera manifestation of the phrase “Ready, Fire, Aim” it’s B&B’s Ridge Forrester. He hit the sheets with Taylor and then heard Brooke letting herself in downstairs. Per his mansplainy MO, Ridge wouldn’t let Brooke share why she took the CEO job at Forrester.

Brooke: “I want to explain… ”

Ridge: “Explain what? You betrayed all of us.”

Brooke: “Once you hear…”

Ridge: “Once I hear what? I need you to hear something.”

Brooke: “Just let me explain…”

Ridge: “I know already. How could you do this to me?”

It went on like that for an entire episode until Taylor appeared at the top of the stairs in Ridge’s oversized shirt and Brooke put two and two together and got SEX. She went on to make the best of the holiday without Ridge but vowed to “make things right” with him even though he believes the worst of her in every situation. (Remember when Ridge assumed Brooke called CPS on Thomas and promised “forever” to Taylor in Aspen?)

Meanwhile the Forresters toasted the “power of Christmas” and gathered around the piano to sing about revenge on the Logans (haha).

Y&R’s Newmans had a Claire-fest, praising the newest addition to their family for bringing them joy and being such a bright light even though this time last year she was trying to kill them all. They gave each other gifts of poetry books and horses, and Claire made a sappy speech about her new family supporting her before handing Nikki a gift.

Claire: “I had a portrait commissioned of the five of us. You’re the center of my universe. I hope you remember that every time you look at that portrait.”

Sorry, Johnny and Katie! Claire is the only offspring of Victoria’s that anybody cares about now.

Victoria’s brother, Nick, joined Sharon and the kids to sing carols and pretend mom wasn’t up on murder charges. Naturally, Phyllis busted in to repeat her angry threats for the 1000th time.

Phyllis: “For the rest of my life I will let everyone know you took an innocent life, you vicious psycho!”

In real life, no one would let Phyllis in the door no matter what season it was.

At the Abbotts, Diane gifted Kyle pages from her journal from the years they were apart on Christmas. She cried and it was supposed to be moving, but Diane could have come home to her son on any one of those holidays.

Diane: “I thought staying away was the right thing. My heart ached for you.”

Jack looked on with his sad Jack face. Pass.

The holiDAYS in Salem were a mixed bag. Ava and Brady watched Christmas Vacation and discussed how Ava’s family stacked up against the Griswolds (not well). Tate told Holly he loved her even though he just found out Sophia is pregnant (oops). Doug III raised more suspicions, especially after Julie shared with Jennifer that he had been in prison. Jennifer suggested he stole Grandma Alice’s necklace (duh) and was met with a surprisingly ignorant response.

Julie: “Doug’s innocent! End of story.”

Not for Jennifer. Julie pulled out the cardboard box of ornaments that miraculously survived the fire and explained their meaning.

Julie: “How Doug loved Christmas! Especially Christmas Eve with the family all together singing carols.”

Doug III: “I’m so glad I can be here for you Julie.”

Said the man who stole from them… He explained his “journey” to Jennifer and how he landed in a Chicago jail, telling her she can verify his story with the Chicago PD. No need, said Julie. Yes need, said Jennifer’s face.

The annual hanging of the ornaments was as moving as ever until Julie asked Doug III to hang his grandfather’s ornament. He’s not worthy! DAYS reeled the emotion back, though, with a quality flashback of Doug and Julie’s first Christmas together and Julie wishing Doug a Merry Christmas in heaven. Sniff!

The Quartermaine holiday party kicked things off on GH when Tracy accidentally showed the video of Drew and Willow having sex.

Tracy: “You are not one of us. Go back to being a Cain.”

Drew: “What would it take for me to become a real Quartermaine? I know. Why don’t I withhold heart medication while standing over my dying father. Would that do the trick?”

It’s a start. Nina hired Martin to serve separation papers to Michael on behalf of her daughter Willow, giving Ava the line of the week.

Ava: “Nothing says Merry Christmas like a divorce lawyer on retainer.”

Ava was there for Nina when her ex, Drew, showed up at her holiday bash eager to sidle up to Willow.

Nina: “I thought you would have the decency to not show up.”

Drew: “My feelings for Willow are stronger than I realized.”

Nina: “Oh, I recall how strong your feelings are… on your desk, your floor, your couch, my bed.”

Willow (approaching): “Everything okay?”

Nina: “Just wishing Drew a Merry Christmas!”

Even Ric couldn’t believe the goings-on.

Ric: “And they say I’m sleazy?”

Over at Carly’s bash, she couldn’t wait to give her ex the 411 on their son’s marriage imploding.

Carly: “Willow and Drew slept together.”

Sonny: “That’s why Jason beat up Drew? He will pay.”

Carly ducked out and brought WSB agent Jack Brennan back, which did not sit well with the mobsters who refused to shake his hand and warned Carly he was using her.

Carly (to Jason): “You’re not the boss of me.”

Josslyn passed canapés, cracked jokes, and played cards with Michael — which was surprisingly perky behavior for a girl whose boyfriend died a week ago.

Alexis invited her hated ex, Ric, over to decorate a tree for their daughter Molly.

Ric (holding up tape): “What’s first?”

Alexis: “Slap a piece of that over your mouth and help me unpack these boxes.”

Calling each other a “shrew” and a “jackass” are terms of endearment for these two, and Molly did appreciate the silver lining of seeing her parents together after losing her baby and her partner. Hopefully Santa will bring us an Alexis/Ric/Ava triangle in 2025.

Santa did not bring us a logical story for Lulu. She woke from a four-year coma a month ago and vowed to travel the earth to find her daughter Charlotte.

Tracy: “Don’t forget you have a son.”

Thank you! Charlotte called Rocco’s phone and revealed where she was, so Lulu skipped town without telling anyone armed with nothing more than her abdominal scar — leaving Rocco alone in Rice Plaza.

Rocco (to no one): “Merry Christmas, Mom.”

No silver lining there… maybe next year.

Hey. It’s only my opinion.