Arianne Zucker and Shawn Christian created Aloha Life in 2019 to help guide, motivate and empower people to create their best life. On May 6 and 7, the pair is teaming up with The Soul Institute for two transformational experiences at Casa Muse in Agoura Hills, CA. Zucker and Christian chatted with Digest about what the events entail and how their journey as life coaches has enhanced their own personal relationship.
Soap Opera Digest: Shawn, you’re credited as a purpose and mindset coach. Is this something you had to become certified to do?
Shawn Christian: Yes, I’m a certified life coach. It’s a natural extension of what I do as an actor and what I’ve chosen to do my whole life. Being a purpose and creative mindset coach is something now where I’m helping people be the creators of their own lives. So, for example, why did I become an actor? What was that about? It was about giving experiences that inspire people and make people feel alive. That’s why I did the soap opera. That’s why I did other television shows. I get to go on the journey as the character, and I want to take you on the journey with the character. As a coach now, I want to empower you to create a life that makes you feel alive. That’s really a natural extension of what I’ve had to learn to do through the trials and tribulations of my own life, is to use my own creative mindset for passion and purpose in my life.
Digest: Ari, have you taken courses on life coaching as well?
Arianne Zucker: Yes. Stacey Boehman teaches life coaching marketing. Her program isn’t a certification program, but it’s an incredible program. [Shawn and I] have been coaching for three years. We continue to study. We continue to grow. Life coaching is such a beautiful process.
Digest: How did these retreats come about?
Zucker: What Shawn and I have been working on is collaborating with a lot of companies. So we’re building our company with others. These particular events are with The Soul Institute.
Digest: What will these retreats entail? Let’s start with the first one, the Sacred Relationships Couples Retreat.
Christian: On both days, I will talk about creating a more loving relationship with yourself first. Because I can’t be the best partner to you if I’m not the best person/version of myself. That will be the morning. I will do some workshops with the people about how they can start to create a happier, healthier and more fulfilling relationship with themselves and getting clarity. In the afternoon, we will do a similar experience, but now, how do we create this experience as a couple? Together, how are we going to create a beautiful relationship that really is fulfilling and happy and soul-inspired for both of us? That is what we call a sacred retreat, which is respect and reverence for each other.
Digest: What about the second retreat, Manifest Your Soulmate?
Christian: That will be helping people identify, create and manifest a relationship with themselves. Everyone thinks the perfect one is out there, yet we all have so many flaws. So that becomes an illusion, and you’re chasing an illusion. The beautiful thing is that once you start to identify what you love about yourself, you can more easily see that in another person. We’re all beautifully flawed, but I want to accept you as you are. I want to grow together. To attract “the one”, you have to be the person you want to date.
Digest: Shawn and Adora Winquist are headlining together, correct?
Zucker: Yes. Adora Winquist is an [alchemical healing couch]. She comes from a beautiful spiritual side of love and romance. Shawn comes from a more practical, grounded side. It’s a beautiful yin and yang combination.
Digest: Ari, what is your role in these events?
Zucker: I am really great at meeting people and marrying them together, introducing them. Good management is what I’m doing. I’m also there for support as the day moves on for the people at the retreat, if they have any questions. I do coaching as well; I really love putting events together. I’ll be there from the start to the end.
Digest: How has delving into life coaching affected your own relationship? Has it gotten stronger? Do you understand each other better?
Zucker: Can I go first?
Christian: Please, go first. Whatever you want, baby.
Zucker: Oh, God, yes. I come from a hot-tempered mother. As many of us know, in our youth, we are shaped by the mentors, teachers and parents in our lives, but we have the opportunity to shift that as we get older. I chose to shift my belief, knowing that I was born with this loving, giving, empathetic personality and that is the woman that I’ve been growing into. I’ve wanted to be that for everyone in my family, including Shawn, who’s my person, my man. I literally call him “my angel” for his patience.
Digest: Shawn, would you like to weigh in?
Christian: We have really come a long way in understanding and respecting each other on a deeper, more personal level. I’m willing to open up and be vulnerable and communicate what’s in my heart. That’s something I’ve learned in this relationship, the value of being willing to be vulnerable and share what is uncomfortable and to go there. We certainly had two different fight styles when we met, two different communication styles. Ari was like, “Let’s do this. We’re having this conversation right now.” That was her thing, and this isn’t a judgment on either one of us; we don’t judge each other at all. We accept each other for these beautiful flaws as we’ve learned, grown and evolved together. She wanted to have a conversation right now in the moment, while I needed the time and space to process, because I knew I would say something that would not benefit the relationship. However, I was waiting way too long to process, and Ari can’t go three days. That is just one facet of the beautiful things we discovered about each other. So it was, “Okay, how can we both feel seen, heard and understood? What would that take?” We came to this beautiful place of, “It’s not going to take three days for me to process. And when we’re in a heated, elevated emotional space, let’s just get to a state of clarity, and then we’ll have the conversation.”
Digest: So you’ve found a happy medium between talking right now and taking three days to process things?
Zucker: I feel like we don’t have those kinds of issues anymore, because we’ve worked so hard on ourselves. You have to remember, we’re all triggered by things. Shawn and I would react two different ways to the same thing. But now instead of reacting, we respond. We’ve worked on our triggers. It’s not that they don’t exist, it’s that we know how to handle them. I don’t think Shawn and I have gotten into an argument in almost two years. We have discussions about things in life, but we have literally learned each other’s love language. It’s so important. And, like Shawn says, our fight language. It’s just as important, right? Things that may have annoyed me at one time don’t annoy me anymore. My coach would say in a lot of her sessions, “If you’re annoyed, stop being annoyed.” You have to have the tools to be able to shift that, and it takes a lot of work. If I ever do feel that way, I’m like, “Wait. I love this person. This person means so much to me. Why would I want to get into an argument with him?” So you’re nipping things and addressing things as you start to feel things changing in your life. It’s like, I’m changing, so my relationship is going to change.
Digest: You said you know each other’s love languages now. What are they?
Zucker: Shawn’s are physical touch and words of affirmation.
Christian: And acts of service.
Digest: Ari, what are yours?
Zucker: (To Christian) Do you remember mine, honey?
Christian: She does like words of affirmation. I think that’s a big thing in the form of appreciation and gratitude, because she does do so much, almost altruistically. When I recognize and acknowledge the beautiful things that she’s doing and the person she’s becoming, I can sense and spark her soul. I feel the difference.
Digest: One thing that seems so evolved about your relationship is how Kyle Lowder (Rex, DAYS; Zucker’s ex-husband and father of their daughter, Isabella) is a part of your family. How does that work so seamlessly?
Christian: It’s just a respect for humanity, a respect for raising kids. When everyone has that single-minded purpose of really helping each other create a healthy, loving, harmonious dynamic, then everyone makes choices that are in line with that. We’re all on the same page with regard to that and with our children. I think that part resonates. We’re seeing that reflected back with all of our kids.
Digest: Ari, was the impetus for this creating a nurturing, loving environment for Isabella?
Zucker: Early on, before Shawn and I got involved and Kyle and I decided to not continue our marriage anymore, the first thing out of [Kyle’s] mouth was, “Now we want to focus on Izzy.” The focus is always about Isabella. Kyle and I have always had a great friendship. We are very lucky in that we don’t pit things against each other. So now it’s, “We’re the family.” This is the immediate family, Izzy, Shawn, Kyle and me. And, of course, Shawn’s kids, who are older. His son [Kameron] has a clothing company that he works for, and he’s designing his own clothes. He’s becoming the man he wants to be. And Taylor [Cole, an actress], Shawn’s daughter, lives in the same area that we do. We’re all very close. It’s so wonderful to be able to have this family that we chose to create. It takes work, but we chose happiness.
Digest: What’s it like when you’re all together?
Zucker: Oh, my gosh, it’s so much fun.
Christian: It’s a lot of fun, laughter and joy. It’s a lot of support of one another and all of our respective journeys. It really is a beautiful, healthy, lovely, harmonious dynamic.
Zucker: I love that I can call Taylor up and go, “Hey, Izzy’s in town. Shawn’s out of town. Can we all go skiing together?” And it’s like, “Yeah. We’ll meet you on the mountain at 2.” I know that Shawn loves that, basically, his two daughters are spending time together and snowboarding together. It’s wonderful.
Digest: Kyle posted a sweet photo on Instagram of him and the two of you sipping margaritas together after Izzy’s soccer tournament.
Zucker: Oh, we do that all the time.
Christian: It’s standard.
Zucker: We call each other or are together almost all the time. I know it sounds on paper right now that everything is roses and rainbows, but we took the time [to create this]. This June, Shawn and I will be together 10 years. We all took the time to become the family that we are now. Everyone adjusted their lives so that we could all have a better one. I just want to make sure that that’s clear, that people don’t think, “Oh, my God, they’re so perfect.” No, we took the time to do this, to make sure we are fulfilled as a family.
Digest: Speaking of family, the two of you are engaged. Is there an update on a wedding yet?
Zucker: Shawn and I have been calling each other husband and wife for a few years now. Sometimes when we talk to people we forget, and say, “My husband.” Then we got engaged, and it was so weird to go back to fiancé. [The wedding] is next year.
Christian: Don’t be surprised if we end up sneaking off to an island.
For more information, check out thesoul institute.as.me/tapintothelovefrequency and www.alohalifecoaching.com.
