Carolyn’s Opinion

Sure, soaps can be fun, but what’s better than a true-to-life scene? Check out what Digest columnist Carolyn Hinsey has to say about what’s happening across the daytime dial.

We all love campy entertainment but a real, honest moment goes a long way, too.

Like when GH’s Martin asked Anna for help deciphering the “chill” that had descended over his relationship with Lucy. Anna pinpointed the problem immediately when Martin said he preferred companionship over marriage.

Anna: “Lucy Coe likes marriage.”
Martin: “She used to, but ‘been there, done that’ several times. Neither of us is anxious to repeat the same mistake.”
Anna: “Is that what she told you? She didn’t mean it.”
Martin: “You think Lucy is angry because I don’t want to get married again?”

For a guy that’s been married multiple times, Martin doesn’t know much about women. He kept insisting Lucy was fine with their unmarried status but Anna (who barely tolerates Lucy) schooled him.

Anna: “Buy yourself a sweater, because that chill you’re feeling is liable to set in. She’s keeping score. You were willing to marry [the others] but refuse to take the plunge with her.”

Men are from Mars, Women are from Logan’s Department Store, Marty.

Lucy proved that by convincing Felicia to bust into the office of Martin’s divorce lawyer to dig for dirt while she flirted with the lawyer — who turned out to be ALL MY CHILDREN fave Jackson Montgomery. Erica Kane was name checked; Lucy and Felicia were promptly arrested.

Jack: “Why am I attracted to these fiery women?”

It was like a warm hug all the way from Pine Valley, PA.

Like GH’s Martin, Y&R’s Tucker read Ashley all wrong, too. He cheated on her in 2010 (with Diane!) and thought he could crawl back into her bed with some champagne and a plot to bring down Jabot. Ashley responded with the guest room.

Tucker: “This is the best I’m going to get? A transactional relationship with a steel-hearted woman?”
Ashley: “Excuse me. I don’t have a steel heart. I have a guarded heart, for good reason.”

For many good reasons, including the fact that Tucker was secretly bedding Audra right up until he got (fake) engaged to Ashley. She’s playing him, which is fun to watch because Tucker thinks he’s a player.

Kyle’s turned into quite a player, bedding Audra while still married to Summer and urging Mariah to quit Jabot when he did.

Mariah: “In solidarity? We’re not the Abbotts. We rely on paychecks.”

How refreshing is that? Soaps never talk about paychecks — or mortgages or paying the bills or how they move from one mansion to another during a commercial break — so kudos on that reality check.

For a reality check, you can’t beat Hope’s response to Brooke after her mom caught her in bed with Thomas on B&B. Brooke tried strong-arming her daughter (“You are a married woman!”), apparently forgetting Hope was a grown-up with two kids and five marriages behind her.

Brooke: “You are not going to be with Thomas.”

See those sheets, Brooke? She already was. Brooke ordered Thomas to “send Hope home” like she was a dog that got lost down the block, not a woman who had made a choice.

Hope: “Maybe it is wrong and scandalous but it was also beautiful.”

That also describes Brooke’s many affairs, especially her sex romp with Deacon (who was married to Brooke’s daughter Bridget at the time) that produced Hope.

Hope: “If anyone should be able to understand it should be you.”
Brooke: “Liam is committed to you!”
Hope: “In the same way Ridge is committed to you? How many decades has it been of you chasing after him begging for his love? Thomas wants me. I deserve more than half of Liam’s heart.”

Yes, it was contrived that all of a sudden Hope was threatened by Liam and Steffy when the entire buildup had been Hope fantasizing about Thomas, but better late than never — and Hope calling out Brooke’s hypocrisy was long overdue.

I still don’t get why the obstacles for Hope and Thomas don’t include the fact that he’s her stepbrother. Maybe they’re building to a spin-off called THE FORRESTER BUNCH? I’ll tell you this: Mike and Carol Brady would have never stood for Greg bedding Marcia.

Can you have a real moment at a fake funeral? DAYS tried with Abe, bringing back his kids and having Theo practice his eulogy on Paulina.

Theo: “I didn’t think my father would fall in love with anyone after my mother died….”

That’s all we saw of the service ($$) but we did see people talking about how moving it was. Meanwhile, John and Patch finally started questioning the events leading up to Abe’s “death”.

John: “We don’t know how he disappeared or how he got down to the pier. None of this is adding up.”

Like every other death in Salem. That was the fifth fake funeral in six months (Marlena, Kayla, Kate twice, Abe) in a town where pretty much everybody has “died” at least once. I hope someone dismisses the next local death with, “Don’t sweat it, he’ll be back.”

We know Abe will be back, but first he had to hallucinate himself into BODY AND SOUL after being drugged by that nutbag Whitley. Lorna DeLorean (really Kate) started talking about the devil possessing people and Abe running for mayor and things started to click for the amnesiac.

Abe (watching himself on the soap): “This is all sounding familiar.”

Cut to Lani interviewing Jerry: “Your father is alive!”

A drugged “dead” man surrounded by his fake wife’s stuffed animals watching himself in an old soap opera gets discovered by his real daughter Lani, who tells him Whitley is not Paulina and she’s going to bust him out of there.

Abe: “Do you watch BODY AND SOUL? This could be one of their stories.”

For real!

Hey. It’s only my 
opinion.