Carolyn’s Opinion

What makes soaps must-see? Great villains! Check out what Digest columnist Carolyn Hinsey has to say about what’s happening across the daytime dial.

Soaps need to scale back on day player villains and focus on the big baddies — the stories are so much better!

Take GH: A rotten barfly threatened Esme, a stranger stalked Austin, some record company jerk wanted a piece of Chase, a nasty paparazzo and sleazy tabloid reporter were mean to Sasha, and another bad guy was all up in Spinelli’s grill. Why showcase them when GH has so many good bad guys we’re already invested in? Use them!

Ryan: “Where have you been?”

Esme: “Kevin had me banned from Spring Ridge.”

Ryan: “Family. More trouble than it’s worth.”

Especially when Dr. Kevin Collins remains oblivious to his “catatonic” twin’s machinations and Ryan’s bad seed daughter sleeps with her boyfriend’s father.

Esme: “I could destroy your world.”

Ava: “Try it.”

Out came the dirt that Esme slept with Nikolas, who tried to turn it around that he was powerless against that transparent she-devil.

Ava: “Poor you. Seduced by a high school graduate.”

If there’s a better line on soaps this year, please tweet it to me.

The fallout was epic, ending with Esme’s “death by parapet” at Ava’s hand, which meant she’s anything but dead. Ironically, Victor had been trying to convince Nik to kill Esme but the younger Cassadine refused, insisting he wanted to make Laura proud.

Nikolas: “I’m done lying.”

Good one! Nik’s uncle Valentin is also on the b.s. train, giving Anna a load of nonsense about how he left the clinic because of a staph infection and blah blah, which is not the way to go when “Vanna” has more rooting value than any other couple on the show.

Anna (to Valentin): “Let’s not think about anything.”

How un-Anna. Luckily, she was gaslighting him.

All these miscreants are interrelated and doing fabulous damage to those around them so there’s no need for stringy-haired bad guys to be stalking our faves. (You can always tell the short-term scoundrels because they’re made up to look worse.) Even Sonny got caught up in the day player drill, roughing up nasty paparazzo Felty on Sasha’s behalf. Josslyn caught him and threatened to go to the cops.

Sonny: “You think [my kids] are going to thank you for putting their father in prison?” 

Joss: “I love how you’re making this my fault, like I forced you to beat up some guy in an alley.” 

Those scenes worked because of A-listers Sonny and Joss, not because of that limited lowlife.

DAYS doesn’t have day player baddies so much as long-term ones who float in and out. Sarah was gone for a year and then returned having lost her marbles. She now thinks she could have killed Abigail.

Sarah (to Chad): “My dosage was off. In my right state of mind I would never hurt her.”

Is that a legit defense? I’m not a fan of Dr. Rolf because I think it’s a lazy plot device to kill people and bring them back to life every few years, but at least he’s an established villain with longtime roots in Salem. The latest implausible resurrection is Stefan DiMera, who “died” three years ago.

Dr. Rolf: “Gabi had already donated his heart to Julie Williams, which made things a bit more difficult.”

I would think so. Less believable (!) are Orpheus and his son Evan, who pop in for plot twists but have never had any character development, which is key to investing in a long-term baddie. The kidnapper extraordinaire even asked Marlena to treat his criminal son.

Orpheus: “What’s one more reformed murderer on your roster? You were an important mother figure for him as a child.”

Marlena: “You were holding me hostage.”

Okay, that was funny.

I like nutbag Jan Spears, who first bounced in during the Last Blast era and has always had a clear throughline: She wants Shawn Brady. Jan recently tricked Shawn into thinking she had his baby (it was really Evan’s) and then escaped prison for the 900th time to reclaim her demon spawn.

Jan (as she tossed Evan in the water): “I’m too mean to die.”

Ashland wasn’t. Y&R surrounded his killing with guilty Newmans, which is always preferable to some rando turning out to be the culprit (paging Stitch). With Ashland gone, Diane is the focus of the hate now. It took guts to show up at the Abbott mansion as Kyle, Summer and Jack were telling Harrison that his (adoptive) father had died.

Diane: “I guess I should have phoned first.”

Why start now? Y&R could use another villain with Ashland gone but at least they’re not throwing short-term offenders at us. Well, unless you count whoever green-lighted Billy’s podcast. 

Sheila is the only baddie needed on B&B, now and forever. Shooting her bio son was next level but she seemed genuinely surprised when Finn said he was done with her.

Sheila: “Why does this always happen to me? We can start over.”

Finn: “You tried to shoot my wife and you killed my mother.”

Is that a no? Bill Spencer interrupted with a very-much-alive Li, which gave Sheila the chance to escape (again) and show up at Deacon’s.

Deacon: “Are you insane? Dumb question.”

Deacon is a good example of a cardboard villain who evolved, going from imprisoned kidnapper to Hope’s stand-up dad (if you don’t count Diane’s back-from-the-dead backstory on Y&R, which he supposedly orchestrated). 

When in doubt, give a lowlife an Achilles’ heel and a healthy dose of sarcasm to bring him along.

Deacon: “Finn’s mother brought him back to life.”

Sheila: “Yes, I had to shock his heart.”

Deacon: “I was talking about Li.”

See? The big baddies rule.

Hey. It’s only my opinion.