Carolyn Hinsey Shares Her Opinions

Is humor important to make stories entertaining? Check out what Digest columnist Carolyn Hinsey has to say about what’s happening across the daytime dial.

Sarcasm makes every scene and story better.

GH spreads it out, giving a variety of characters the chance to crack wise. The vets rarely disappoint.

Anna: “I need your list.”

Robert: “Laundry? Grocery? Bucket?”

Good guesses, but no. His list of WSB contacts that could help her neutralize Victor (who had kidnapped Valentin’s daughter). After some OG back-and-forth, Robert handed Anna a quarter.

Robert: “If it all goes south, who you gonna call?”

Anna: “Pay phones are obsolete.”

Robert: “You’re Anna Devane. You’ll find one.”

Funny and true. Even when Scorpio’s dialogue doesn’t seem to scoff, his general mocking tone works.

Across town, Sonny was also circling the nefarious Victor Cassadine.

Victor: “My nephew is completely devoted to his wife.”

Sonny: “So devoted that Ava was staying at the Metro Court?”

Advantage: Sonny. He outright threatened Victor to “stay away from Avery’s mother” and then called him “old pal” for good measure. Awkward and sarcastic. He was softer with the injured Ava but still…

Sonny: “You’re too smart to play dumb with me.”

DAYS is smart enough to have characters acknowledge when their stories get a little preposterous, which is a fun wink to the audience. Like, “We get it.”

Ava: “Jake reached out and touched me. But it’s impossible.”

Johnny: “I don’t know. My nono, my dad, my uncle Tony, my aunt Kristen, they’ve all come back from the dead. Maybe my uncle Jake did the same thing.”

Actually, Jake’s twin came back with Jake’s heart, but I digress. They planned a memorial service for Jake, which prompted the only DiMeras who really cared about him to worry about how his “widow” would be treated. 

Tony: “I hope EJ isn’t going to be too unkind to her.”

Anna (eyerolling to Pittsburgh): “I’m sure he’s going to be his usual sensitive, compassionate self.”

True to form, EJ spent most of the service checking his watch. Then they all looked around the crypt and realized no one had invited Jake’s sister, Kristen, to the service and … wait … where was Jake’s “widow”?

Johnny: “I care about you, Ava.”

Yup — making out with Jake’s nephew.

Ava: “I can’t do this. Your father would flip.”

Johnny: “I don’t care what my father thinks.”

Ava: “My husband just died.”

That’s better — but let’s go check into the Salem Inn anyway. Johnny has the same never-say-die attitude as his father, who is a walking wisecrack.

EJ: “How long does it take to say good-bye to a guy who’s been dead for four years?”

I’m not keen on the “Stefan returned from the dead and is now brainwashed” story, but the people around him are serving up A-list snark.

Kristen: “Is he here?”

Dr. Rolf: “Who?”

Kristen: “Henry the Eighth. Who do you think? Stefan!”

For snark, look no further than Y&R’s Victor every day, all day.

Adam: “Jack had the best of intentions when he offered me this position.”

Victor (laughing): “I’m sure he did.”

Yes, when your sworn enemy hires your son there’s rarely an ulterior motive. So far the job entails Adam ordering doubles and flirting with his exes in bars, so good choice, Jack. 

Sally: “How are things at Jabot?”

Adam: “I made the right decision stepping away from my family.”

Unfortunately, Sally made the wrong choice chatting up her ex because she missed an important meeting at Newman. Her excuse was that she was at “a different meeting”. Chloe immediately called her on it.

Sally: “It was Adam.”

Chloe: “That is so funny because I heard you say Adam. I must be hallucinating.”

When an employee misses a meeting, some bosses react by having sex with them on the office couch and then acting like nothing happened.

Nick: “Want to get something to eat?”

Does Newman even have an HR department? The employer and his employee put their clothes back on and went out for a bite, where they ran into his brother, who is also her ex.

Adam: “You guys working late?”

Nick: “Meeting…”

Adam: “Mind if I join you two?”

In the absence of sarcasm, awkwardness works, too. Jack and Victor know a little something about that.

Jack: “Are you here to say hello or cast a dark shadow?”

Victor: “Adam only accepted your offer to piss me off.”

Jack: “I have faith in Adam.”

Victor: “Good luck with that.”

B&B’s Sheila has had amazing luck evading the authorities and skulking around town to spy on her family.

Sheila: “I want to hold my grandson again.”

Deacon: “That is not going to happen. You convinced everyone you were eaten by a bear, remember? No more crazy stunts. Stay here.”

Cut to Sheila donning her Lucy Ricardo wig to stalk Li and Finn as he exulted that they don’t have to worry about her anymore. Kids!

Which brings us to the queens of sarcasm and awkwardness, Brooke and Taylor.

Brooke (entering Ridge’s office to find Taylor caressing his photo): “Just when I thought it was going to be a good day.”

Taylor: “Ridge is not in the office.”

Brooke: “I know where my husband is.”

The custody battle for Douglas is a convenient reason for the women to pretend their catfighting isn’t over Ridge. But Steffy’s daily badgering of her mother to somehow hog-tie Ridge and force them to get back together is getting really old.

Taylor (to Steffy): “We’re totally different people now.”

Both roles have been recast, so … wink! Good one, B&B.

Knock, knock!

Finn: “What did you forget? Oh, Zende. Sorry, I thought you were Steffy.”

Yes, it makes perfect sense for Steffy to knock on her own front door to be let in.

Whaddya know? Sarcasm makes this column better, too. 

Hey. It’s only my opinion.