Howard Wise/jpistudios.com
Over The Edge: Y&R’s Tucker (Trevor St. John) didn’t fall for Audra’s (Zuleyka Silver) message from Ashley.
There were so many clever lines during soaps the week of May 16 – May 22, and in the capable hands of many of daytime’s most dynamic actors, these sitcom-worthy lines truly tickled our collective funny bone. Here’s a sampling of the humorous dialogue that stood out to Digest editors this week.
Bold and Beautiful
(Brooke rages at Zende for sleeping with Luna)
Brooke: “I think it’s time for you to leave. You should go to Forrester International. No, strike that; Forrester Antarctica.”
(Deacon defends his actions in finding Sheila to an upset Liam.)
Deacon: “If I had just listened to the coroners and the cops, what they said, I would’ve never checked her texts, I would’ve never checked her credit card receipts and Finn and I would’ve never pulled her out of that warehouse. And you know what? Sheila really would be dead.”
Liam: “Oh. All right, Columbo.”
(Later, Liam points out that Steffy thought she had knifed Sheila.)
Deacon: “Apparently Sugar was no match for Steffy ‘The Blade’ Forrester.”
Days Of Our Lives
(Eric tends to a drunken Leo.)
Eric: “You’re a hot mess.”
Leo: “Zaddy? You’re putting me to bed again? It’s like gay ja vu.”
(Sloan finally tracks down Leo.)
Sloan: “I have been looking all over for you.”
Leo: “Let me know when you find me.”
(Paulina summons EJ to her office for a meeting.)
Paulina: “Do I need to remind you that you work for me, Mr. DiMera?”
EJ: “You’ve already reminded me, Mayor, many, many times. It’s like a song that one can’t get out of one’s head, a constant loop.”
(Melinda expresses her concerns after Paulina offers her EJ’s former job as Salem DA.)
Melinda: “You have to admit it’s a dangerous proposition, taking something that belongs to EJ DiMera.”
Paulina: “No, I do not agree. What’s he going to do — put a horse head in your bed?”
Melinda: “You never know.”
Paulina: “Oh, no, no. Stop that. Stop. The man is as smart as he is malicious. He’s not going to come after the district attorney. He would be giving you an invitation to stick your nose into his family business.”
Melinda: “You know you’re right. Maybe I’d be safer in this job. If he goes after me, I’ll just go after him. Horse head for a horse head.”
General Hospital
(Gloria is in distress.)
Gloria: “Sometimes my lens gets caught under my eyelid and I can’t get it out. I’m half blind.”
Lois: “Ma, lean your head back. I’m gonna try to fish it out. Come on.”
Gloria: “Are you crazy? You’ll skewer my eyeball with those nails of yours!”
(Maxie offers her review of Brook Lynn and Chase’s wedding.)
Maxie: “The natural light could have been a touch brighter.”
Spinelli: “Doesn’t the natural light come from the sun?”
Maxie: “Exactly, Spinelli. The sun had one job.”
Young And Restless
(Sally gives Chloe a pep talk about saving their failing business.)
Sally: “We are smart, we are experienced and we are creative. We can dig ourselves out of this hole on our own, okay? Are you with me?”
Chloe: “A hundred percent. Only we’re gonna need damn big shovels.”
(Chelsea commends Adam for keeping calm during their last visit with Connor.)
Chelsea: “I was actually impressed you really held it together when our visit fell apart. I was expecting you to run past those doctors, find Connor, and make a run for it.”
Adam: “Well, I may have checked the exits, and looked for a way to dodge security, you know?”
(Audra delivers some surprising news to Tucker.)
Audra: “Ashley just wished us well.”
Tucker: “As in, ‘I wish you well as I watch you plummet to your deaths after I push you off a cliff’?”
