Classic Lines: Soaps' Most Sparkling Dialogue

Eileen Davidson, Peter Bergman, Beth Maitland, Jason Thompson, Trevor St. John — Howard Wise/jpistudios.com

Ms. Abbott (Eileen Davidson, r.) takes on Ashley’s brothers Jack (Peter Bergman, sitting) and Billy (Jason Thompson, r.), sister Traci (Beth Maitland), and Tucker (Trevor St. John).

BOLD AND BEAUTIFUL

Liam (to Steffy): I was accused of waffling over the years and I am guilty as charged.

DAYS OF OUR LIVES

(Leo and Stephanie find out that Jada and Everett/Bobby are married.)

Jada: Will you please just sign the damn divorce papers.

Stephanie: You two are still married?

Leo: Jada and Everett, hashtag Jeverett, married? Juicy.

Everett: Apparently the divorce decree was never officially finalized.

Jada: Yeah, because Bobby never signed the papers, and he won’t do it now.

Leo: Wait. Who is Bobby?

Jada: He is.

Leo: Jada and Bobby, hashtag Jobby?

(Stefan confronts EJ after the judge refuses to accept his arranged plea deal and says she’ll notify them of her decision.)

Stefan: You deliberately presented a weak case. You wanted her to be appalled.

EJ: I did exactly what we agreed upon; no more, no less. We are both beholden to the justice system. I don’t make the rules. Whatever the judge decides is based on her own discretion, OK?

Stefan: Oh, so that’s it, huh? You think I’m going to let some funky judge ruin my plans?

EJ: It is out of my hands now.

Stefan: Is it, brother? Maybe I didn’t destroy the only copy of that tape.

EJ: Oh I wouldn’t put it past you. So take this in. I am more than happy to reveal who shot and nearly killed Detective Michaels.

Stefan: You would not.

EJ: Oh try me. So why don’t you take your ass and go back to your cell like a good little boy. My blackmail trumps your blackmail any day of the week, and besides I still have a binding agreement turning over all your worldly possessions to me. See you in a few years, broski.

GENERAL HOSPITAL

(Nina has some regrets…)

Nina: If you breathe a word of this to Sonny…

Drew: Having hate sex with you on my office floor isn’t something I’m going to be bragging about.

Alexis: Nina, why don’t you just admit it.

Nina: Admit what?

Alexis: That you hired DeWitt to piss me off.

Nina: No, I actually do think he’s an asset.

Alexis: And the fact that he’s a colossal thorn in my side?

Nina: Oh, that’s just a perk. No doubt about it.

(Brook Lynn is surprised by Lois’ mother-of-the-bride dress choice.)

Lois: What’s wrong with it?

Brook Lynn: Absolutely nothing.

Lois: Well, something.

Brook Lynn: The dress is lovely. It’s… um… It’s classy and elegant and tasteful.

Lois: I feel a ‘but’ coming.

Brook Lynn: No buts. It’s just not really your style.

Lois: Okay, ‘it’s just’ and ‘but’ are exactly the same thing.

Brook Lynn: Come on, Ma. You think that’s your style?

Lois: To go out on a Saturday night? No. But I was under the impression that what you wear to your daughter’s wedding and what you wear to go out clubbing are two completely different things.

Brook Lynn: You don’t have to be this different. What kind of nails would you even do with that?

Lois: Oh, I was thinking maybe just clear.

Brook Lynn: WHAT?

(Gregory is down his Plus-One for Chase and Brook Lynn’s wedding.)

Gregory: Alexis has to appear in Manhattan the morning after the wedding. She’s hoping to get her disbarment overturned.

Tracy: Oh, well. Good for her.

Gregory: Do you mean that?

Tracy: (laughs) I’m sure some part of me must.

YOUNG AND RESTLESS

Audra: Where have you been?

Tucker: Oh, in my secret lair doing the usual. You know, scheming, plotting… being generally nefarious. You know how it is.

(Ms. Abbott during the Ashley intervention.)

Ms. Abbott: You guys, I mean honestly, the next time that you plan an intervention, can you please just run the guest list by me first?

Tucker: Your recent conversations with Audra.

Ms. Abbott: Audra…the town bicycle. She’s got a brain the size of a pea and you’re going to take her word over mine?

Bold and Beautiful Days of Our Lives General Hospital The Young and the Restless

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Soap Opera Digest

Classic Lines: Soaps’ Most Sparkling Dialogue

BOLD AND BEAUTIFUL

DAYS OF OUR LIVES

GENERAL HOSPITAL

YOUNG AND RESTLESS

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