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Classic Lines: Highlights From The Week Ending May 7

eva larue and maurice benard on general hospital.


Natalia (Eva LaRue) and Sonny (Maurice Benard) sat together at the park and had some funny moments.

For the week in soaps, ending on May 7, there was some clever dialogue thanks to the many talented writers on all the shows. It helps to have it in the capable hands of many of daytime’s most capable actors as they say some sitcom-worthy lines that truly tickle our collective funny bone. Digest may not have caught all the great lines but here’s a sampling of what stood out this past week.

General Hospital

(Sonny comes across Natalia, deep in thought after a post-shopping argument with Blaze, on a park bench.)
Sonny: I didn’t mean to scare you. You and your bags are safe. I don’t think there’s anything in your bags that will fit me, anyway.
(Nina is so excited after her chat with Willow that she lets one of her own secrets slip.)
Nina: She only talked to me tonight because she thinks that Drew and I are friends now when we actually hate each other more than ever. Even the sex is hateful.
Maxie: The what now?

Days of our Lives

(Alex receives word about his inheritance after Victor’s will has been probated.)
Theresa: I know that we’re due at Titan, but I think we need to celebrate.
Alex: Yeah, you think so? I think we need to as well. In fact, I’m gonna take the day off, and I’m giving you the day off too.

Theresa: Yeah, well, you don’t need to work today or ever again for that matter, Mr. Heir to the Fortune.

Alex: Question is, what the hell am I gonna do with the fortune? I mean, obviously, besides buy myself a mansion, a yacht, a private plane and tickets to outer space.


(A drunk Leo tells EJ that his and Nicole’s baby is alive.)
Leo: The thing is, you son didn’t die.
EJ: What?
Leo: I tried to tell you and Nicole. I came here before Christmas, remember? And what did I get as a reward? A thank you card, a Pomeranian, two tickets to the Tonys? No, I got a beatdown and a black eye, and now it’s going to cost you, big fella.
EJ: So you’ve known this whole time that Nicole’s and my baby is alive, and yet you said nothing. You did nothing.
Leo: I tried to tell you. And it’s not like I did nothing. I blackmailed Sloan. Italian made shoes, cashmere socks, a fountain pen that was very expensive and I lost and I never got to use. You think I could afford all that on Lady Whistleblower’s salary? Alas, the gravy train has been put out to pasture. Wait, that’s not right. The gravy train has left the… No. The gravy train has run dry.
EJ: So it’s all dried up, has it? So now you’ve come here after having wet your beak a little too much trying to extort me?
Leo: I am not trying to extort you, I just told you. Umm. Well, I just told you. I told you so, now you have to pay me. I take cash, check, Venmo. I will accept Bitcoin, but I prefer a Fiat.
EJ: You can see that payment in hell. Dammit.


Young and Restless

(Jack tries to help a hungover Nikki.)

Jack: Have a little bite to eat.

Nikki: I’m not hungry, it smells nauseating.

Jack: That will go away after the third bite.

Nikki: What are you, a doctor now, or just play one on TV?


(Jack finds Nikki drunk in a GCAC suite and takes a drink of what she’s been downing.)

Jack: Wow, that is smooth – I see that you sprung for the triple distilled.

Nikki: My life may be in the gutter but I still have my standards!


(Jordan is incensed that Victor has locked her up in his own private jail cell.)

Jordan: You bastard.

Victor (amused): I’ve been called much worse.


(Lily shares with Billy about her earlier talk with her great aunt.)

Lily: Well, I did have an interesting conversation with Mamie today. And by interesting, I mean disturbing.


(Tucker shares his concern to Ashley, who is bristling at Traci mothering her.)

Tucker: Ashley, I know you don’t want to listen to me, but I hope you will listen to your sister.”

Ashley: Thank you so much, Daddy Issue.”


During a meeting with just the Winters family at Chancellor-Winters.

Mamie: I’m only here to build things up, not to tear them down.

Nate: You literally said it was time to blow things up.

Mamie: I never said that!


Bold and Beautiful

(Sheila revels in daylight and fresh air with Deacon after being held prisoner in a dank warehouse.)

Deacon: It’s just beautiful to see you, you know, enjoying life’s simple pleasures. We should all learn to do more of that.

Sheila: You know what? Anybody can. They just need to be chained up for a few weeks.