Carolyn’s Opinion

Why are triangles such tried-and-true storylines? Check out what Digest columnist Carolyn Hinsey has to say about what’s happening across the daytime dial.

Remember when soap triangles were for lovers? Not anymore!

Y&R’s Ashley is in one with her brother Jack which gives her the chance to catfight with Diane Jenkins, still universally hated for getting half of Genoa City arrested for her “murder”.

Ashley: “Go choke on a muffin.”
Diane: “You’re just edgy because you haven’t gotten the upper hand with Jack.”
Ashley: “I will win and you will fail.”
Diane: “Today is my wedding day.”

That escalated quickly. Jack and Diane scooted off to the courthouse while Ashley conspired with Tucker to break them up, oust Diane from Jabot and take down the family company. Her scorched-earth technique is surprising considering she’s on the board of Jabot and adored its founder — her father, John Abbott — but she’ll clearly do anything to keep Diane out of the corner office (and the family home).

Ashley: “The walls are crumbling around you and we’re going to be the final wrecking ball.”

An even more curious threesome is developing over at Newman where Victor wants his sons and their mutual ex-wife to work together.

Victor (to Adam): “You and Nick and Sharon will work under my tutelage. I will dictate the terms. I want to see if the three of you can create unity, something I have always wanted.”

Huh? Sharon has “created unity” with every single Newman male. She’s wed Nick four times, Adam once, and … *checks notes* … married Victor himself in 2012. The Mustache’s desire to have his sons run Adustus/McCall/Whatever with Sharon is even more ridiculous when you realize Nick and Adam are both pursuing Sally in their off hours. You couldn’t possibly fit any more exes around that table.

Adam (to Victor): “By the way, I offered Phyllis head of IT position.”

I take it back.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s plenty of room for old-fashioned love triangles, too.

Summer (to Kyle, gesturing at Audra): “You’re trying to escape into whatever this is.”
Audra: “I think it’s sad how controlling you are. Didn’t you betray Kyle’s trust?”
Summer: “I highly doubt you know the meaning of trust.”

Audra bedded Noah, Tucker and Kyle in less than a year and is scheming with Nate, so trust that Summer has a point.

Gregory’s onto something on GH, too. What are the odds of a man with a terminal illness snagging two of PC’s most eligible women?

Tracy: “You do your best Cary Grant holding elevators, pulling out chairs, and I’m expected to say thank you every time?”
Gregory: “Would that be so bad?”
Alexis: “Torture.”

Tracy noticed Gregory’s hand shaking and called Alexis to ask what’s ailing him.

Alexis (eye-rolling): “What can I do for you?”

No one’s having sex (yet) but considering that Tracy once framed Alexis for drunk driving that would be one tumultuous threesome.
Elsewhere, Sonny called his ex-wife Carly to take his daughter from a one-night stand with Ava for a sleepover so he and Ava could conspire to bust the new nanny and bring down Austin. Carly’s response to Sonny and Ava’s head together was vintage.

Carly (hand up): “Whatever.”
Let’s see more of those three — and less of Spencer and Trina with amnesiac psychopath Esme. I’m also on the fence about TJ and Molly with her sister Kristina as their surrogate. We need more time to invest in those new faces (three Mollys in three months?) before they can carry a big story.

Does a triangle count if a person doesn’t know they’re in it? DAYS’s Gwen agreed to marry Dimitri after two dates in what we know was a quickie marriage so he could get an inheritance. We also know Dimitri has been sleeping with Gwen’s best friend, Leo.

Gwen (reading Leo’s texts): “Who is this mystery man lying in bed waiting for you?”

Your bloody fiancé.

Leo: “It was just a hookup, I didn’t want to make a thing out of it. He is a certified level three smoke show.”

Yuck. There’s no rooting value when three rotten characters who have hurt a ton of beloved Salemites are played together. And is Gwen still Jack’s daughter? It makes no sense that DAYS totally rewrote Jack’s history to give him a sudden daughter and then didn’t even bring him back for Gwen and Dimitri’s so-called nuptials.

On the bright side, they shared their wedding with Stefan and Gabi and it was a riot. When Leo locked eyes with his lover Dimitri and threatened to stop the ceremony, Gabi gave him the full Bridezilla.

Gabi: “Stop sniveling or get out. I’m getting married.”

Thankfully the DiMera and Hernandez clans did show up: Stefan’s siblings Kristen and EJ, along with Gabi’s brother Rafe.

Rafe: “You looked beautiful, especially when you were yelling at Leo.”
Gabi: “Can you believe that nincompoop?”

No.

There’s a quadrangle brewing with EJ/Nicole/Eric/Sloan but only Sloan knows they’re in it after tampering with Nicole’s DNA test.

Sloan (talking to herself): “It’s all going to blow up in my face! Eric is going to find out Nicole and I are both having his baby.”

Nicole trusting Sloan with any DNA dumbs the whole story down but kudos for injecting our hilarious Sami into it.

Eric (on the phone): “All you can say is ‘At least Nicole’s not the mother’?”

B&B has always been more of a quadrangle show. It used to be Ridge, Brooke, Taylor and Ridge’s mother, Stephanie. More recently it’s Hope divorcing Liam after her mom Brooke walked in on her with Thomas.

Ridge: “Does this have something to do with you sleeping with my son?”

Indeed. Meanwhile, Liam wants Steffy who’s not happy with Finn because he hugged his mother.

Finn: “Kelly is alive because of Sheila!”

Cue the next … momdrangle?!

Hey. It’s only my 
opinion.