Disney/Christine Bartolucci
You Gotta Have Friends: Tracy’s quick wit is being used to prop Finn (Michael Easton, with Rebecca Herbst as Elizabeth) on GH.
Every show needs a voice of reason — aka a character who says what viewers are thinking.
On Y&R, it has surprisingly become Jack Abbott. He’s tackling Nikki’s alcoholism head-on, becoming her sponsor and giving everyone around her the tough love they all need. Victor was not pleased to find his wife and her ex together; Jack told him to back off because they had simply run into each other at an AA meeting.
Victor: “You have a problem with me being concerned about my wife?”
Jack: “What part of your concern makes it alright for you to question my recovery and how I handle it?”
Nikki (defensive): “It was sweet of Jack to go with me. This is where we say thank you.”
Fat chance. Victor’s macho approach exacerbated his wife’s fall off the wagon, so Jack beefed up Nikki’s inner circle by asking Lauren to come work with her. Lauren had questions… why would Victor be okay with Lauren stepping in but not Jack?
Jack: “You’ve never been married to Nikki or been his sworn enemy.”
Funny and true. Meanwhile, Victor’s behavior made no sense. Telling Nikki about the fire at Jordan’s prison would upset her more than Nikki reading it online? It’s better to pay someone to surreptitiously follow Nikki to bars than talk honestly with her about her struggles? Victor left Nikki alone in her office for hours while she got scary phone hangups that propelled her to go get smashed. She eventually reached out to Jack with a garbled text. (It’s nice to know that the doyenne of Genoa City sends drunk texts like regular people.) That prompted Jack to come clean with Victor.
Jack: “You should not be in the dark. Nikki turns to me because she doesn’t have to worry about my feelings.”
That is a spot-on diagnosis, Jackie Boy.
Jack’s sister Traci is no slouch in this department, either. She is so done with Tucker stalking Ashley.
Traci: “I’m disgusted. Move on. Leave my sister alone.”
Can Jack or Traci have a word with the 50-somethings acting out scenes from High School Musical? Danny, Christine and Phyllis are in a love triangle that would be tough to watch if they were teenagers, never mind that two of O.G.’s playing it are grandparents to a teenager (Daisy).
Phyllis: “If it’s war you want, it’s war you’ll get.”
Christine: “Gauntlet thrown!”
Throw it back.
The voice of reason on GH is Tracy Quartermaine (duh).
Tracy: “I am dying to know how an innkeeper is qualified to run a fashion magazine.”
Carly: “I guess I’ll look it up online.”
Tracy: “We’re swapping out the current Mrs. Corinthos for the previous gun moll, which doesn’t sound like progress to me.”
Carly: “Nina was a baby-stealing lunatic. Take a gamble on me.”
I appreciated Carly name-checking Fusion and Enchantment while trying to sell Deception on her new job (Pine Valley lives!) but GH did Carly no favors by having her tell Drew she was “swamped” and “struggling to get the first issue out with her name on it” only to hightail it to the hospital in case Josslyn needed back up with Adam’s father.
So she’s not that busy.
Shows repeatedly use their truth-tellers to prop up characters that aren’t working, like Finn lately. Putting aside the fact that the actor already played John McBain and Silas Clay on GH, which you know does not work for me, he is a “top” infectious disease doctor so uncertain about life that he hems and haws his way through everything.
Finn (re: his dad): “Uh uh, he’s uh, he’s waiting in the car. Um, you know, I, I know, I know what’s ahead of us.…”
Falsely accusing Finn of malpractice so they could shoehorn him into a hero role didn’t work because the story was so manipulative. Finn would rather lose his medical license and possibly leave Port Charles so a widowed stranger wouldn’t get in trouble for fraud?
Finn: “I don’t want to risk Mrs. Muldoon going to prison!”
That didn’t make him a hero, it made him a sucker. Enter Tracy to talk to the widow.
Mrs. Muldoon: “I’m not interested in anything you have to say.”
Tracy: “Few people are.”
Ha! Turned out Mr. Muldoon knew he was dying and told his wife to pursue Finn and G.H. for malpractice so she’d have money, which Tracy remedied by telling the truth and paying off the widow.
Mrs. Muldoon (to Finn): “Your daughter is very lucky to have you as a father!”
Liz (to Finn): “Do you know how amazing you are?”
Like I said, manipulative. Tracy is too good for that.
The go-to on DAYS is Marlena, of course, but it bothers me that her first thought when John stares off into space isn’t “Oh dear, he’s been brainwashed again.”
Marlena: “You’re not sleeping well.”
John: “What if there are things in the past you don’t remember?”
Marlena: “What are you searching for? If we have unwelcome surprises we will handle them like we always do — together.”
John: “I might sleep better tonight.”
It’s like a little therapy session every night on their living room couch. But then Konstantin pulls out that Pawn card… open your eyes, Doc!
Another Salem truth teller — and it shocks me to say this — is Chanel. That girl has come a looooong way since her early days sticking other people with her champagne bills and tricking Xander into marriage. She runs a successful business and is about to marry Johnny again (now that he’s not possessed anymore…) despite Chad’s warning about their family.
Johnny: “Chad said being connected to the DiMeras is hell on earth and you and I should stay as far away from the family as possible.”
Chanel: “I think that’s all a bunch of hooey.”
That’s the attitude you need to make it in Salem.
Chanel: “You are not your father or your uncles, and you sure as hell aren’t Stefano. Their issues have nothing to do with us.”
Johnny: “Thank you for being the voice of reason.”
Look at Johnny DiMera making my point for me!
Over on B&B, Zende said exactly what I was thinking when young R.J. moved into Bill’s beach house in Malibu.
Zende: “This is some of the most expensive real estate in the world.”
R.J.: “I’m renting it from Spencer, of all people.”
Zende: “I doubt Dollar Bill would be cutting you a deal. A multimillion dollar home in Malibu is not coming out of your pocket. Ridge and Brooke are so happy to have their son home, I’m sure they’re paying for it.”
Soaps never talk about how anybody affords their luxury penthouses and beach bungalows so this was a particularly refreshing conversation. Luna tried to jump in (“You’re family!”) but Zende pivoted to how R.J. leapfrogged over him at Forrester Creations with no experience or training and there was no rebutting that.
Zende: “I’ve made a name for myself in this business. You’re just starting out. Must be nice having the great Ridge Forrester give you a boost.”
R.J.: “Why are you giving me such a hard time?”
Zende: “I don’t think you realize how lucky you are. I wasn’t born into this. I was left alone in an orphanage in Africa. I lost both my parents. I was alone until Kristen — your aunt — adopted me. My mother is not here to have my back. Your parents are fashion royalty and you’re the little prince. I’m older than you. I have more experience. Be real, man. If you were in my shoes you’d be frustrated, too.”
Preeeeeeach, Zende!
Hope is also turning into a breath of fresh air with all those incessant naysayers weighing in on her dating Thomas.
Brooke: “I want you to be happy the way you were with Liam.”
Hope: “Liam left me.”
Steffy’s arguments are particularly galling since her own romantic past reads like a mob hit.
Steffy: “Thomas could get hurt.”
Ridge: “We could all get hurt! That’s what happens. It’s love. There are no guarantees.”
Ain’t that the truth — especially on soaps!
Hey. It’s only my opinion.
