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Carolyn Hinsey's It's Only My Opinion

Nicholas Chavez, Avery Pohl

Disney/Christine Bartolucci

Dead Man Walking? Esme (Avery Pohl) was calm, collected (and psychotic) when it came to exacting her revenge on Spencer (Nicholas Chavez).

What sparks movement on our soaps? An actor leaving.

Look at how GH shot the Spencer/Trina/Esme story out of a cannon in Nicholas Chavez’s last few weeks after months of those characters treading water. Esme got her memory back, Spencer gave Ace to Nikolas, Spencer and Trina left for Paris, and Esme went on the war path. Now you’re talking!

I saw some comments on here (yes I read them!) from people who didn’t like that I supported Nikolas taking Ace, but let’s be honest: That baby was dragging down the story. How many times were Spencer and Trina going to fight about Spencer putting his little brother over his girlfriend? In real life it would be terrible to take a baby from its mother — unless perhaps she was an amnesiac psychopath — but this is a soap and that kid neutered our dashing Spencer Cassadine for far too long.

Plus, losing her son made it easier for Esme to clunk Kevin on the head and go on a murder spree.

I hope Laura acknowledges her part in Kevin’s hospitalization and Spencer’s “death.” She endlessly defended Esme, keeping her out of jail despite Ava’s very fair efforts to make Esme pay for breaking into Wyndemere. Carly, Liz and Portia should have been all over that story considering they were the mothers of the kids wronged by Esme. Wouldn’t they care that Laura was using her status as mayor to get a judge to go easy on the girl who did such horrible things to Joss, Cam and Trina?

Kevin: “I didn’t survive Ryan all these years to be done in by his daughter.”

Laura: “I believed in Esme. I think losing her son pushed her over the edge.”

She’s still making excuses for that psycho!

Unfortunately, the hunt for Esme depended on my least favorite thing: Cops being dumb. Esme bought a bus ticket to Toronto on her credit card so Dante was like Aha! and went on a wild goose chase. Meanwhile, Kevin woke up and was like, “They’re in Paris.” Duh! At least we got a raucous love scene and lots of gooey language before Esme tracked Spencer and Trina to the French Haunted Star and Trina lobbed a wrench into Esme’s temple.

Trina: “Let her bleed.”

Too bad they didn’t tie her up. Another tussle on the deck resulted in Spencer and Esme going over the side. Hurry back, Prince Cassadine!

Y&R used Lily’s exit to have Daniel cheat on her with Heather which is movement, but not the good kind. We don’t know Heather, while Lily is the heart of the show so that’s a big thumbs down for Daniel.

Conversely, the backstabbing Audra decided to take Tucker down and suddenly I was all in on bringing that action front-burner.

Tucker: “Give me five minutes.”

Audra: “You’re insufferable.”

Tucker: “I know.”

Not sure where Nate fits into Audra’s scheme, though.

Audra: “I have a proposition: Leave Chancellor-Winters. Join me at Glissade … Join me against Tucker for fun and profit.”

Nate: “It’s a mistake to think you can win.”

So Nate, who spent 12 years training to be a doctor and has zero business background, has now had top jobs at Newman, C-W and is being shoehorned into Audra’s revenge at Glissade? Physician, heal this story.

I’ve been waiting for Diane to show her true colors and it looks like the time has come. She was co-CEO of Jabot for like a week and was already threatened by her own son.

Kyle: “I got a head start on the intern program.”

Diane: “I was going to work on that.”

Jack (oblivious): “The three of us guiding Jabot!”

Diane (to Jack, later): “He’s trying too hard. He’s disappointed you didn’t make him co-CEO. That was his subtle way of saying, ‘I can do this job better.’ ”

Meow!

Diane is also not thrilled that Jack is Nikki’s sponsor, but those enemies have shared some entertaining scenes. When Diane nosed around in Nikki’s business, Nikki snarked that Diane can’t intrude on her life just because Jack is her sponsor.

Nikki: “Remember that night by the river you pretended to die?”

Diane: “You weren’t so innocent yourself that night. You hit me on the head with a rock.”

Nikki: “Look at us now. You’re not dead and I’m not drunk.”

The fun of this story is the coming tsunami when Victor finds out his wife and his rivals are in cahoots and he knew nothing about it. Jack is even poking the bear!

Jack: “What do you say we have a drink together? Old rivals for old time’s sake.”

Victor (to the bartender): “Pour a drink for each of us. Put it on his tab.”

DAYS is also using old rivalries to move the classic story of The Pawn forward. Somehow, after all these years, there are still missing pockets of John’s memory despite all the other lives he has lived as Roman Brady, Forest Alamain and Dick Van Dyke’s son.

Patch: “In our previous lives when we met in the shadows we were on assignment.”

John: “So I’ve been told.”

Patch: “You still don’t remember anything from that time?”

John: “Those memories have been wiped.”

Patch responded that he wished he could forget the bad stuff that’s happened to him, like working for Victor. If I was Patch, I’d prefer to forget things like the time Bo knifed out his eye — and didn’t Patch steal John’s kidney when he was brainwashed by the DiMeras?

Patch: “I don’t know if it’s worse not being able to remember or not being able to forget.”

That’s pretty profound, dude.

What this show needs is more OG characters to balance out all the newbies. Bringing Lucas back is a start but there’s a big hole where Bo/Hope and Jack/Jenn should be.

It’s hard to watch an entire episode of Alex and Theresa playing “truth or dare” when we don’t know them.

Alex: “Theresa Donovan, what is the biggest lie you’ve ever told?”

That she’s not Gwen? That game took a hard turn. I’m sure I’m not the only one who had to mute the TV when they screamed “Row, row, row your boat” at the top of their lungs.

Over on B&B, I like the idea of adding to Bill Spencer’s family. It will give him something to do besides call Ridge “the dressmaker” and pant after the Logan sisters. There’s a chance Luna is Bill’s daughter, so kudos to RJ for voicing it.

RJ (to Luna): “What if Bill Spencer is your father? The math checks out.”

That’s an excellent case of a character joining a show to propel story forward. Poppy is a breath of fresh air even if she is lying about Bill not being Luna’s father. It’s a shame they shipped Wyatt out of town because if Luna turns out to be his daughter, there is entertaining story in Bill collecting all three of his out-of-wedlock sudden kids together for a humbling conversation: “No, I never used protection. No, I never kept in touch with the women I bedded. Yes, I’m embarrassed that my past as a hound dog keeps coming back to haunt me.” Imagine if they all came work at Spencer Publications and took a run at Forrester: Luna vs. RJ, Liam/Wyatt vs. Hope/Steffy, Bill vs. Ridge/Brooke.

Now that’s what I would call forward movement.

*Hey. It’s only my opinion.

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