Why should the end of romances be as must-see as the start? Check out what Digest columnist Carolyn Hinsey has to say about what’s happening across the daytime dial.
When it comes to breakups, the setup should be as great as the fallout.
Y&R weirdly played Devon and Abby’s sex romp like it was as much a surprise to them as it was to their partners who walked in on them.
Abby: “I’m filled with regret over what happened to me.”
To her? She spearheaded that couch-fest!
Abby: “I’m so shaken up over this.”
If only she’d had a say about stripping off her clothes with her old pal Devon…. Strangeness aside, the aftermath was excellent. Amanda’s venomous split from Devon gave her a slew of classic lines before she left town.
Amanda: “The one good thing about my timing is, I walked in here with a bag already packed and I’m going to walk right back out. I’m going to focus my loyalty on the people who are faithful to me.”
Devon: “I love you.”
Amanda: “If this is your love, I don’t want it.”
Bullseye.
Abby’s husband Chance was more crestfallen than angry. He said he saw it coming because Abby was relying on Devon more than on him.
Devon: “Chance could see this coming but neither one of us could?”
Abby: “I don’t have the answers.”
Neither do I, and I watch this show every day. It’s like they told the story in reverse: Let’s have Chance and Amanda catch Abby and Devon naked on the couch and then explain that their partners saw something in the lead-up that we haven’t shown viewers.
Chance: “Devon came to the rescue when you wanted a child.”
I wasn’t aware that women having sex with their sperm donors was a thing, but okay. Better was Devon having to face Lily after Amanda quit the company, leaving them legally in the lurch.
Lily: “What really happened?”
Now that spells f-a-l-l-o-u-t.
DAYS did a similar backward breakup with Rafe and Nicole. They got married off screen, which didn’t exactly scream “supercouple”, and Nicole spent all her time with prodigal ex-priest Eric instead of her new hubby. You don’t have much of a marriage if a sexy photo shoot could end it.
Rafe: “Why am I looking at a photo of my wife draped all over her ex-husband? Why don’t you stop trying to hide that you and Eric still have feelings for each other?”
Nicole gave him the old, “We’re just friends” routine, but good cop Rafe was asking all the right questions. He finally decreed it wasn’t about the pictures, it was about the marriage — and then Eric barged in asking if they’d seen the pictures, which was pretty funny timing. Rafe stormed out.
Nicole: “Everyone sees the connection between us. Aren’t you tired of fighting it?”
Eric: “I’m trying to respect your marriage.” Cue them making out, which would have made sense if DAYS had taken more time on the front end. The episode started with Rafe bringing Nicole sushi and it ended with his marriage over and his wife kissing Eric. That’s too fast. But then again … consequences! Eric’s girlfriend Jada is pregnant.
And Bitter Rafe is almost as much fun as Y&R’s Bitter Amanda.
GH’s Liz is cruising up on bitter and I’m here for it. She and Finn didn’t break up on GH, they just fizzled. The reveal that Liz helped kill Finn’s late wife put a damper on things, which was good because their “romance” was depressing. Liz needed help and Finn responded by trying to control her. That’s not love.
But there, too, the aftermath has been delicious. Sarcastic Liz is my favorite, rolling her eyes when Carly stopped by (“I’m reevaluating my relationships with anyone I haven’t given birth to,” snarked Liz) and then busting Nikolas.
Liz: “Did you kill Esme?”
Nikolas: “No. I took matters into my own hands.”
Liz: “I’m going to call the police.”
Nikolas: “She’s fine. I made sure she can’t harm anyone else.”
Liz: “That’s what prisons are for!”
Nikolas led Liz to Esme where Liz 1) spied Esme’s baby bump and 2) learned Nik was the father. That’s a big matzoh ball hanging out there.
Secrets, lies, attempted murder, a cheating scandal, a pregnant one-night stand, it’s all properly set up for GH’s next split.
Nikolas: “I promise I won’t ever let Esme hurt you.”
Ava: “If only you kept your promises.”
Ridge promised to love, honor and cherish Brooke eight different times on B&B which meant nothing to him after just one lie from Thomas. Ridge and Brooke also have a son together (R.J., who is never mentioned, but still), and made money together at Forrester (the BeLieF wrinkle-free fabric), but Ridge sent Carter over to her house with annulment papers faster than Deacon had hightailed it over there with that engagement ring.
Brooke: “I need you to communicate with me. What is it?”
Ridge: “All I wanted from you was some humanity! This is my boy.”
Brooke: “This is about Thomas?”
Ridge hedged, neither one questioned what possible grounds he could have for an annulment, he handed Brooke a pen and she signed the papers. What kind of breakup is that? It’s like your food order didn’t arrive — sign here to get your money back.
Taylor: “How are you feeling?”
Ridge: “Sad.”
But not sad enough to keep him from proposing to Taylor in the same episode. “When’s the wedding?” asked Steffy. Tomorrow. No buildup or fall-out, just another rushed living room ceremony we’re supposed to invest in.
Brooke: “I don’t get it.”
Me neither. On the bright side, the side-eye little Douglas threw Grandma Taylor (“Dreams do come true!”) knowing that his father had lied to orchestrate that sappy reunion was all of us.
Hope: “I’m sorry, this is weird. Ridge goes to Aspen and everything goes to hell?”
Exactly.
Hey. It’s only her opinion.
