Soaps are a great escape, but it is refreshing when characters talk like real people.
Especially when they dole out tough love. It’s hard to watch a character like B&B’s Sheila commit crime after crime (after crime…) and bounce back waitressing at Il Giardino while still stalking Finn. Thankfully, her fiancé Deacon finally let her have it.
Deacon: “Your son wants nothing to do with you. If you keep forcing a relationship you’re going to lose everything. Finn will never forgive you if Steffy doesn’t come back and you’re the cause. Stay away from Finn and his family.”
Sheila: “I’ve got to skedaddle.”
Her denial lasted about five minutes until she ran into Finn’s adoptive mother (who Sheila tried to kill) and got another earful.
Sheila: “Hi, I’m Sheila. I’ll be your server today. Can I start you with some sparkling water?”
Li: “You despicable, diabolical creature.”
Sheila: “Maybe a cocktail would be better.”
Ha! Word spread through L.A. that Public Enemy No. 1 was waiting tables at the new hot spot and Li went in for the kill.
Li: “Do the other patrons know they’re being waited on by a murderous psychopath?”
That’s how I’d probably address the woman who slept with my husband, gave birth to his son, gave the baby up so I could unknowingly adopt him, and then came back into my son’s life as an adult to shoot him and his wife in an alley. Not sure I’d shove her face into a plate of spaghetti, but you do you, Li.
I’d pay cash money for someone to shove Tucker’s face into a plate of anything on Y&R. Watching our sweet Mamie in cahoots with that scoundrel is tough, but at least she puts him in his place.
Mamie (after Tucker dissed Nate): “Where I come from, family always wins. Focus less on me and my goals. You’re in charge of Jill.”
Ditto Devon, who decreed he had no time for his bio dad unless Tucker dropped his smarmy facade and stopped lying.
Tucker: “Maybe you’d rather not speak to me because there is tension between us.”
Devon: “If we do this, we’re going to have a real conversation.”
He meant it. Devon detailed Tucker’s lies about his breakup with Ashley and his shady dealings with Mamie, zeroing in on Tucker crashing Jack and Diane’s wedding to supposedly make amends.
Devon: “Those people don’t like you.”
No, and they didn’t like the “wedding gift” Tucker gave the newlyweds with a listening device hidden inside.
Ashley (to Diane): “Tell me the whole ugly truth.”
Cut to Jack returning Tucker’s “gift”.
Jack: “Go away.”
Vanquish him, Ashley!
Speaking of being sent away, a couple of rapidly aged kids recently returned to DAYS and it was refreshing to hear one of them go off on his dad for shipping him off.
Tate (sarcastic to Brady): “Did you learn that at the University of Fatherhood?”
The father/son angst naturally inspired Marlena to offer her trademark advice to her stepson.
Marlena: “Everybody needs a little grace once in a while.”
Brady: “I could be over-parenting…”
Ya think? Brady didn’t talk to the kid for years after his 2015 birth (yes, I know, Tate is 16 now) but suddenly wants to order him around like Brady’s been a regular at back-to-school nights? No wonder Tate is acting out.
Brady would do better focusing on his foulmouthed little daughter Rachel who he has been around to raise.
Rachel (to Stefan): “I call b.s.”
Meanwhile, Xander was trying to get close to his new daughter but Sarah was having none of it.
Xander: “How could you not know that I would be a good father?”
Sarah: “I didn’t want my daughter to grow up with a father who could wind up in prison.”
She eventually softened and told Xander he could be a part of Victoria’s life. Brriiing! It’s Justin calling.
Sarah (to Xander): “You filed for custody? I am an unfit parent?”
Oops! Moral for DAYS dads: Stay on the good side of your baby mamas.
Shipping a kid off to boarding school is a recipe for disaster on soaps. GH’s Laura tried to connect with her arsonist granddaughter Charlotte but their heart-to-heart fell short.
Laura: “I didn’t fit in at school at all. When I was your age I made some really big mistakes.”
Missed opportunity there to tell her child of the corn that Laura herself committed a murder (David Hamilton in 1978). It’s nice to find common ground with loved ones.
Trina’s been doling out her share of honesty to Spencer lately. First she set him straight about why she has to stay in school (“You come from money, Spencer”) and then reminded him he is Ace’s brother, not his father.
Trina: “It’s important for a boy to grow up with his father.”
Spencer: “Not when his father is Nikolas Cassadine. Ace is better off without his influence.”
Trina: “So you’re fine with Esme’s influence.”
Spencer: “She’s Ace’s mother.”
Exactly! Now channel your best Cher from Moonstruck, Trina.
Trina: “Snap out of it! This fantasy of playing house is a dream come true for Esme. Your father raised the man I fell in love with, so he can’t be all bad.”
That fiery apple didn’t fall far from the tree. Trina’s mom took one look at the “reformed” Cyrus when he got out of jail and spit nails.
Portia: “Your remorse is a sham. You should be in prison.”
Combining truth with humor is my preferred method of honesty, like Dante’s retort when Sam tried to let him off the hook for not believing Sasha was being drugged.
Sam: “You had no way of knowing.”
Dante: “I’m a detective.”
Hey. It’s only my opinion.