Opinion: From GH to Y&R, Soaps Need Characters Who Stay Entertaining When Stories Get Dull
General Hospital has Tracy, The Young and the Restless has Billy, Days of Our Lives has Philip and Beyond the Gates spreads laughs from Dani to Mona. But humor is scarce right now on The Bold and the Beautiful.
General Admissions
The drama ebbs and flows on daytime, so every show needs at least one character who can entertain us through it. On GH, that person is Tracy Quartermaine.
Willow: “Do you ever get sick of swanning around here dispensing threats?”
Tracy: “Never. It’s how I get my steps in.”
Put her in any situation with any character and Tracy will elevate the scene and make us care about it. The trick to that is a combination of good story, great dialogue, and an actor who looks like he/she is having fun (high five to legend Jane Elliot).
Long-time vets are usually the ones grabbing the writers’ attention, but every once in a while a newcomer steals the spotlight. Smart soaps capitalize on that — like GH did with Ezra Boyle (played by soap vet Daniel Cosgrove). He was a smarmy nobody until we saw him at the gym taking selfies of himself in the background during a meaningless encounter between Kristina and Jacinda and realized OMG he’s funny! They soon beefed up his role to Laura’s right-hand man, which bodes well for Ezra since we like anyone Laura likes.
Ezra: “I take city government seriously. The marathon to fundraise for the school district? I ran that marathon — until I got chafed in places I didn’t know were chafe-able.”
Laura: “Too much information!”
Alexis is another fave we can count on. Her dialogue is spot-on, but it’s her ability to bust you-know-what that raises the stakes.
Alexis (to Willow): “We’re not going to spin things, because you can’t.”
We waited almost a year for someone in authority to call Willow on shooting Drew, and Alexis did not disappoint. She rightly cited her own role helping Willow get away with the crime, saying she regretted not opening her mouth even if it would have gotten her disbarred. Willow pleaded her case that she had a bad childhood, Michael badmouthed her, blah blah, ending with her daily claim that her kids need their mother.
Alexis: “Anyone can be a mother; look at Helena Cassadine. You want to slay the monsters? Have at it. But remember: You are a monster, too.”
Invoking Helena was *chef’s kiss* for long-time fans and it left Willow speechless. Here’s hoping former enemies Tracy and Alexis join forces to vanquish Willow completely — perhaps to the cell next to Curtis?
Lining Up
BTG spreads the one-liners around, especially when Dani and Hayley are having one of their trademark catfights. We can always count on Vernon and Anita to bring the heat, and Bill is slowly catching on to Hayley now that he caught her in a lie about going to the dentist (when she was secretly meeting with Randy).
Bill (slyly): “Any cavities?”
Even Mona the church lady gets in the occasional classic line when counseling Randy, battling Leslie, or trying to outfox mobster Joey Armstrong at his casino.
Joey: “Sister Wilson! Risking your soul in Satan’s playground?”
Mona: “My soul is never at risk.”
Joey: “You could take a crack at saving my soul.”
Mona: “That’s above my pay grade.”
Wait until she meets his viperous sister Heather.
Playing Your Cards Right
“Let’s bring back a beloved core character and kill her again,” said no one ever, so there has been little to laugh at on DAYS lately. With nuLexie’s death behind us, I was hoping Jack’s return would bring some hijinks, but that was missing as he tried to “work on his relationship” with Gwen (the retconned daughter rightly despised by Jack’s wife Jennifer) and during the “brother time” he shared with Steve.
Jack: “I can’t believe Joy Wesley showed up out of the blue with Alex’s baby.”
Steve: “And she refuses to have Stephanie spend any time with the baby.”
Surely Jack Deveraux can do more than recap. Better is Philip, who is morphing into a character who can believably do wacky things like secretly try to win the millions they need to save Titan by gambling in Monte Carlo.
Xander: “This plan of yours… Did you discover some filthy rich relative? Or are you just going to buy a Powerball ticket in all 50 states?”
Philip: “No and no.”
Kate: “Is what you’re doing dangerous or illegal?”
Philip: “Again, no and no.”
Xander: “Go with God.”
Kate: “Go with God?!”
That was a nothing scene but the players sold it. Chips in, Philip!
Party Of None
B&B used to have Sheila Carter doing nutty things like kill people with bees, but she’s a needy empty shell now. Dollar Bill and his sons Liam and Wyatt can always be counted on to elevate a scene, but we don’t see enough of them. The best B&B can do is give us entertaining situations, like everyone telling Steffy how sorry they are that she was alone in LA after her fight with Finn and Sheila in Monaco when we know she bedded Carter that night on the office couch.
Finn: “I am so sorry you left Monaco feeling betrayed, then came back here and had no one to turn to.”
Steffy: “We’ve both done things we regret.”
Even mortal enemies Brooke and Taylor came together to discuss who could be there for Steffy during this trying time.
Daphne: “Steffy is my bestie, and Carter would do anything for her.”
Taylor: “You are definitely what Steffy needs right now — you and Carter.”
Awkward.
Couching The Entertainment
Phyllis Summers could always be counted on to light up a scene, but Y&R has de-fanged her. She displays abject insecurity now, begging her enemies for help with the missing Matt Clark.
Adam: “You are being such a sap with this guy!”
Cane: “You seem like you’re hurt and abandoned.”
Phyllis: “I’m not abandoned. I’m not! Something happened to Matt.”
Needy Phyllis is no fun, and she doesn’t drive good story because her exes can’t stand her and her kids barely speak to her. Nick pointed that out when she went to see him in rehab looking for info about — who else? — Matt Clark. The old Phyllis would have supported her ex in his recovery, but this version selfishly pushed him for details about the murderer who has terrorized his family for decades. Nick called her out.
Nick: “You have no relationship with your kids. You’ve got this busted-up company that you should be rebuilding, but instead you’re spending all your time trying to convince everyone that this guy has been magically redeemed.”
Phyllis: “Don’t you dare talk to me like I’m a bad mother. I’ve done everything for them! Matt makes me feel good.”
Nick: “That makes me sick.”
Me too. Giving her desperate dialogue like, “Say hello to me, please, I’m your mother,” when she runs into Daniel is brutal. It doesn’t serve Phyllis or the show to write this former powerhouse like a loser. Stop it.
On a brighter note, Billy can always be counted on to cause drama — for better or worse. His efforts to convince Lily he’s the rightful owner of Chancellor lead to a debate over which one adored Katherine more.
Billy: “I loved her like the grandmother I thought she was. This is not a trophy for me. I have more heart and passion than Cane will ever have.”
Lily: “What are your plans?”
Billy: “So you can take the information and run it back to Cane?”
Fair point. And all hail Kyle and Victoria having a sex romp on the couch in Jack’s office. Things escalated quickly, but at least he locked the door.
Kyle: “Crazy, right?”
Victoria: “We can’t tell one soul.”
She slipped out as Kyle received a text from his dad telling him to stay out of trouble. “Too late,” whispered Kyle as he picked up Victoria’s earring. So now, Victor’s daughter and Jack’s son are going into business together and sleeping together while hiding it from everyone including Kyle’s former fiancée Claire — aka Victoria’s daughter.
As Maximus said after killing the other fighters in Gladiator, “Are you not entertained?!”
Hey. It’s only my opinion.
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