It’s Only My Opinion For The Soap Week Ending May 23

Enemy Territory: (From l.) BTG’s Kat (Colby Muhammad), Y&R’s Sharon (Sharon Case), GH’s Carly (Laura Wright) and B&B’s Steffy (Jacqueline MacInnes Wood) know a thing or two about a juicy soap rivalry.

Enemies make the soap world go round, but some shows are falling down on the drama.

Y&R’s Phyllis vs. Christine had a good run (octopus, anyone?), as did Phyllis vs. Sharon — history matters. But the latter’s recent kidnapping resulted in them calling a moratorium to the point where Sharon observed Phyllis hugging Nick and thanking him in the park, and it was like an episode of Gilmore Girls.

Sharon (brightly): “Did we all have the same idea for a morning walk?”

Phyllis: “We were talking about Summer.”

Sharon encouraged Phyllis to go to Italy to visit Summer, and they all chit-chatted about their kids.

Nick: “If I take off, are you guys going to be cool?”

Sadly, yes. Sharon asked why Phyllis was thanking Nick, and she replied that she needed support re: Billy and advice re: starting a business with Daniel.

Sharon: “That’s good news! I know how grateful I am to have Mariah working with me at Cassidy First, and knowing the profits go to important causes.”

Phyllis: “You are a literal angel. I always knew that about you.”

Always? I guess Phyllis forgot about the time she cut up Sharon’s clothes in a jealous rage or the catfight with the chocolate fountain, or (insert 900 other battles here).

There was a moment in that sunny park where Sharon bragged about her and Nick’s happy family trip to London with their kids that could have sparked something, but whatever happened between Nick and Sharon in London was offscreen, so it didn’t inform those scenes. Both women throw enough side-eye at Nick to make us think they wouldn’t mind reconciling with him, so hopefully that rivalry will kick back up soon.

Better are the Jack vs. Victor battles, still going strong after 30+ years. Their hatred has extended to various family members crossing battle lines to fall in love, the latest being Kyle Abbott and Claire Newman. It’s not going well, thanks to Victor “forbidding” his adult granddaughter from moving in with the son of his enemy. Claire’s solution is to throw a party so Victor can see how happy she is with Kyle (or something Pollyanna-ish like that).

Claire: “My grandfather will see we belong together, and we will live happily ever after.”

Just like all the other Abbott/Newman unions, right? At least Claire got top billing in the locket Victor gave Nikki during that couples snoozefest. Sorry Summer, Faith, and Katie! Claire is the only granddaughter who matters.

B&B’s Bill vs. Ridge (aka “The Dressmaker”) used to go at it, but then they joined forces to vanquish Sheila, and that was that. Brooke vs. Taylor doesn’t have the verve it used to either, thanks to the kinder, gentler (recast) Taylor and Ridge’s insistence on moving her into the family home literally the night he broke up with Brooke. There’s nowhere for Brooke to put the moves on Ridge now except at the office or peering into his living room like a Dickens orphan (“Please, sir, I want some more”).

But we’ll always have archrivals Steffy and Hope… Oops.

Steffy: “We have to come together. Why don’t we take the first step? Come back to Forrester Creations.”

Hope: “That means more to me than you’ll ever know. I’m so sorry for the pain I caused you and your family.”

Nothing like your mutual ex-husband getting a brain tumor to make you hug it out with your nemesis! The only person left on Enemies Row now is Sheila, and she’s passing out menus at Il Giardino… sigh.

Leslie is the Sheila Carter of Beyond The Gates, capable of anything — including framing her own daughter. She hinted to Kat that Eva ran Laura off the road (a crime Leslie herself committed), and Kat ran straight to good cop Jacob with a recording of Leslie’s claims. Jacob brought Leslie in for questioning, and Kat later grilled him about the meeting.

Kat: “Did Leslie throw Eva under the bus where she belongs?”

That’s an excellent setup for sudden half sisters Kat and Eva to be adversaries, made worse by their bottomless need for daddy Ted’s affection and shared romantic interest in Tomas.

Eva (to Tomas): “Kat hates my guts.”

Kat (to Tomas): “Deliver us from Eva.”

That’s a good line.

That rivalry is Soaps 101, as is Bill’s winking villainy. He spreads it throughout the gates but targets it mostly on his ex, Dani, with whom he clearly has unfinished business. His advice to Smitty spoke volumes.

Bill: “Secrets and lies are what keeps a marriage alive.”

Hence his divorce…

If DAYS’s Xander gets divorced from Sarah, he’ll have no one to blame but himself. The same goes for Xander going to jail for beating his brother, Philip, to a pulp over a business deal.

Xander: “Be a man and tell the truth. You stole that drug.”

Philip: “Yes, but I was only trying to help.”

Indeed, the sepsis drug could save their mutual half brother, Bo, but Xander went straight to killing Philip rather than hearing him out, which is too bad. DAYS had set them up as entertaining and effective rivals, but after trying to kill first Brady and now Philip? Xander’s rooting value is gone.

But hey, we’ve still got Philip vs. EJ, Kristen vs. EJ, and hopefully Bo vs. all of them. Get well soon!

Carly and Nina got well real soon after their violent catfight on GH. One day they were icing their wounded, swollen faces, and the next day both divas were snarking it up on the red carpet at the Nurses Ball. They had called a truce to get rid of Drew, but playing them as friends fell flat — so, wow, did GH change course.

Carly (re: the custody hearing): “Wake up! Willow is never going to leave Drew, so I need to protect my grandchildren.”

Nina: “They’re my grandchildren too, and you’re not doing this.”

Wanna bet? Carly said Nina had gotten nowhere with her breakup plans so — with Michael recovering in Europe — Carly herself sued for custody of Wiley and Amelia.

Nina: “You lied to my face!”

Carly: “You would know something about that, wouldn’t you?”

There it is. Their fraught history with Nina’s daughter Nelle and Nixon Falls and Sonny colored this blistering argument, which ended with Carly saying Willow doesn’t deserve to be a mother and Nina slapping her across the face. They tussled until Josslyn broke it up. Nina later told their mutual ex-husband, Sonny, that his ex is a “psycho bitch,” which bodes well for this rivalry continuing.

Ditto Curtis vs. Drew, especially now that Curtis knows Drew has been blackmailing his wife. Portia knew she shouldn’t have kept that from Curtis, but old habits die hard.

Portia: “When it comes to secrets and lies, Curtis has zero tolerance.”

Ava: “You got in over your head. It happens.”

The irony of Ava advising Portia re: being blackmailed when Ava is currently blackmailing Alexis is not lost on alert GH fans. Everyone is rooting against Drew, but his threat to Curtis about knowing something that might cost Portia her medical license gives him the upper hand (for now).

Which brings us to Brook Lynn vs. Lulu, steeped in bad blood and a mutual ex (Dante). Lulu repeatedly calls Brook Lynn a liar, which is not the case with the son she gave up for adoption.

Cody: “I’m having a hard time believing that Brook Lynn would be able to watch Gio and Dante living in the same house and not tell them they are father and son.”

Lulu: “I’m not. Brook Lynn has always been good at convincing herself that whatever she wants is the right thing. She had no problem trying to break Dante and me up back in the day.”

There it is again: History! Cue the Nurses Ball exploding…

Hey. It’s only my opinion.