Tom and Margo found a shirtless, shiftless Casey guzzling OJ and channel surfing. They noted there were plenty of jobs out there that didn't involve Emily. Well, why were they so anti-Emily? "Because you two got it on?" Casey asked Tom. (LOL!) Margo went off to work as Tom balefully glared at his son. At the OPD, Margo naturally ran into Emily. "I wouldn't let Casey work for you if you had a room full of Pulitzer prizes," Margo snapped. Emily accused her of letting Casey suffer because she wasn't over Em bedding Tom. Casey walked in on the end of the kerfuffle and defended Margo, but only because she's his mom "not because I thought you were right." At Java, Em told Tom she was tired of Margo's blame and she couldn't feel sorry for something that had given her Daniel. She told Tom to tell Margo to lay off Casey. Back at the station, Casey left for a hot date with a HAPPY DAYS marathon (nice shout-out to the ATWT 50th anniversary!) and Tom told Margo they had to rethink things. Pa and Ma Hughes came home to their couch potato, where Margo copped to being wrong for not letting Casey make his own choices. "Cool!" said Casey, running to get his job back. "Hold me!" cried Margo to Tom. Casey made a very earnest pitch to Emily, but he couldn't think of a reason she should rehire him. Emily appreciated the honesty and rehired him. He exuberantly hugged her.

At WOAK, Brad reeled from the teenage girl announcing, "You're my father," even doing the obligatory Darth Vader heavy breathing. The girl held out a picture of her mother. "Juicy Janet!" gasped Brad, remembering his junior prom. Katie pulled Brad aside, saying this kind of recognition is "one of the problems of celebrity," but Brad begrudgingly admitted he and Juicy Janet might be the girl's parents. Terrible at math, Brad tried to figure out if a 17-year-old him could be a 16-year-old girl's dad. Katie suggested a paternity test, and they brought the girl to Susan at Memorial. Brad finally got around to asking her name ("I'm so unpaternal!"). "Liberty," she said. Liberty was bummed to realize that the test results could take up to a week. Brad and Katie were shocked to realize she'd slept in the park and asked her to come back to the Lakeview. However, sans free rooms, Liberty had to bunk with the newlyweds! She immediately jumped on the bed. (Does she know Noah and Luke?) Katie left Brad and Liberty to bond and went to unload on Margo. Liberty asked Brad if he remembered her mom, before curling up on the couch to sleep. Brad stared at her, looking absolutely poleaxed.

At Memorial, Holden ran interference between Jack and Carly and then took JJ and Sage home so they could go a few rounds unchaperoned. After some hollering, they retrieved Parker and ran into Katie. Parker said "some airhead girl" knocked him off his skateboard (and Liberty was curiously AWOL for two seconds). At home in Milltown, Carly and Jack tried to keep Parker awake in case of concussion. After some reminiscing, Carly went to pick up the other kids. She found JJ and Sage playing a board game with Faith and Natalie and not wanting to leave, so Holden suggested she join in. Parker told Jack he and his siblings were used to Jack and Carly fighting. Carly got her behind whooped at the board game and went outside for some air. Of course Holden joined her. She opened up about how every bit of friendship was gone from her and Jack's relationship and knew Holden's life must be challenging now, too. "Have we reached the pathetic stage yet?" he chuckled. They then wrapped up the kids' game. Parker gently suggested that the kids need a break from Jack and Carly together. When Carly returned home, voices were noticeably softer.

Chris found a nauseated Ali skipping her first day of nursing school. He realized Alison didn't just have nerves, she was genuinely sick. A nurse got the wrong idea. After Ali's next round of upchucking, her shirt got a little messed up, so Chris offered to help her take it off. Of COURSE the nurse walked back in. Ali and Chris cracked up. (This could start hospital gossip, you know....)

Carly apologized to Parker for the tension with Jack. He admitted he wished they'd stop ripping each other's heads off. Jack arrived to take Parker to school and Carly bit back any snark, which surprised everyone. "Thank you," Jack whispered. Later, Holden ran into Carly in a parking lot. He helped her with her spilled groceries and let slip that he hadn't spoken to Lily lately. Of course, then Carly had car trouble and manly Holden had to check her ignition and jump her. Er, jump her CAR, that is. In Milltown, Holden admitted he was struggling with what to do with the girls. "That's precisely what summer camp is for," chuckled Carly. Then Carly got a call from the garage: Her car was out of commission. Of course Holden offered to drive her to check out a nearby summer camp tomorrow! Carly offered to make him lunch for his kindness. Holden turned down the option of tuna vs. grilled cheese and headed back to the farm.

Holden found Luke preparing to move in with Noah and Ameera. "I think you're making a big mistake," he warned. What would he be moving in AS? "The gay roommate, very WILL & GRACE," cracked Luke. He insisted that living with Noah this way was better than not seeing him at all. Luke wanted the kind of love Holden and Lily have and was bordering on desperate. And no, Holden couldn't talk him out of it. Luke went off with his bag as Holden shook his head. At the cottage, Ameera said Luke and Noah should have the bed. Awk.Ward. Noah came home with an armful of Luke's favorite groceries. Poor Ameera was clearly a third wheel. Luke realized Holden was right about this being an "emotional time bomb." He and Noah got some cuddling in anyway and then Noah shut the dividing doors. Though Noah felt amorous, Luke was all paranoid. The drama queen packed his things, telling Noah that he needed to be *alone* with Noah and until he could, "it's too painful to be around you." Noah chased him outside, to no avail. Noah told Ameera he wanted the charade over, storming out. She eyed the bedroom hopefully. Not so hopeful? Emotional Luke, whom Holden found on the farm's porch.

Brad and Katie were about to get busy newlywed-style when they remembered Liberty was sleeping on the couch. They stepped into the hall to whisper and steal some kisses. Later, they brought Liberty to Al's and ran into Jack and Parker...where Parker fingered Liberty as the girl who knocked him over, and Brad copped to her maybe being his daughter. "How old were you, 12?" Parker boggled before leaving. As Jack ribbed Brad, Katie realized Liberty was AWOL. Katie was all upbeat about Liberty despite Jack's worries. Meanwhile, Brad found Liberty fearing she'd get arrested for knocking over Parker. He reassured her and brought her back to Al's. Brad then told Jack to butt out of his and Katie's business. Later at WOAK, Brad asked Katie about her feelings on this surprise daughter thing. "It's not a dealbreaker," she told him. "It's just a surprise." Liberty apologized to Parker, raring to get to know her new cousin (who told her he was adopted in case they date in the future). Brad asked Katie if she could handle it if Liberty stayed around. She kissed him, assuring him yes.

At Memorial, Mike thanked Nurse Meg for her ministering and declared that Paul was unstable. Naturally, she ran into Mr. Unstable in the hall. Paul admitted he was seeing a therapist for Meg, but she said he had to see one for *himself* and told him to back off. Mike and Meg discussed Paul and what he was capable of. Sofie (hair newly straightened) arrived at Fairwinds to find Paul hitting the booze again. As Meg instinctively defended Paul, Mike reminded her that Paul is a nut. The nut in question unloaded on Sofie. "You are enough the way you are," she told him as he angsted about being nothing sans Meg. Paul kept ranting and Sofie told him there were plenty of other women who could appreciate him. She proved this with her lips on his lips. While this "therapy" session was occurring, Meg fled Mike's warnings, still guilty about crushing Paul's soul. Of course, Meg walked in on Sofie and Paul getting busy on the couch (and ten to one she didn't admire Sofie's lingerie).

Meg saw Sofie and Paul christening the couch...and as soon as Paul saw her, he practically dropped Sofie in his haste to follow her. Sobbing Meg showed up at Mike's for a shoulder and brain bleach. Paul pounded on the door and pleaded for Meg's forgiveness, claiming Sofie meant nothing to him (ouch!). Much yelling occurred and a Lakeview employee wrestled psycho Paul away. Mike suggested Meg get a restraining order and they headed to the OPD. Of course, Paul was hauled in for his antics. He called Emily to bail him out. Hearing the litany of his crimes, Em decided to let him stew. Paul then called Sofie. (Oh, yes, he DID.) Naturally, Mike and Meg arrived to ask about restraining orders. Proving that she has NO spine whatsoever, Sofie appeared to pay Paul's bail (With her nonexistent bank account?). Paul kept trying to tell Meg he'd made a mistake. Fisticuffs with Mike ensued! A horrified Margo said the restraining order would be through by the morning. Paul thanked Sofie for his checkbook (ah, that makes sense) and she silently walked out. Mike escorted Meg back to the farm and was rewarded with a hug. Sofie then showed up at Fairwinds to ask if Paul really thought she was a mistake. Yup, he sure did. She disagreed, offering to be the answer to his problems. "I love who you are," she told him. He yanked her close and then lowered her back to the couch....

Ali thanked Chris for taking care of her and invited him to dinner. Kim caught the tail end of the flirtation and reminded Christopher he had dinner with his folks tonight. Kim wasn't happy to hear that his "cute nurse" was Ali. "She's gonna have a fit," said Kim of Emily, hoping Chris has learned his lesson. Later, Chris had to tell Ali there was a "slight alteration." She flipped at the prospect of dining with the Hugheses, but Chris turned on the charm and the puppy eyes to get her to come. At the Lakeview, dinner kicked off an awkward note...with Kim referencing Susan's track record with men. As Bob and Chris and Ali all fidgeted, Kim wondered what was up with Stewart women and Hughes men. Ouch. Ali had to walk off and take a breather. "You and I are completely wrong for each other," Ali told Chris as Bob advised Kim to avoid "certain topics" and told her about Casey working for Emily. Chris didn't care about the past, or about his parents' disapproval. He wanted to give him and Ali another shot. After Kim apologized, dinner wrapped up on a better note. (Mostly because Ali saved a guy from choking.) Chris then asked Ali up to his room. Unfortunately, Ali froze up and bolted.

Emily and Casey bantered before Margo called to tell Casey that Matt wanted to see him before going to Statesville. Casey wasn't interested. Intrigued Em encouraged him to go and get some closure...under pretext. She slipped a tape recorder into his jacket pocket (I hope it has lots of tape...). Casey then arrived at the OPD to see his boyfriend, er, ex-cell mate. Looking good for someone going to the state pen, Matt apologized again for the Nevins fiasco. "You're too good, you're too trusting," Matt told Casey. "I'm sorry you were a friend I couldn't trust," Casey replied. On the bright side, Matt has a reduced sentence, so he'll probably be back. After the meeting, Casey found the recorder. (Ah-ha, it's voice-activated.) Margo cited Emily and Casey couldn't quite believe it. Luckily, Em showed up, so Casey could ask her himself. Emily claimed the recorder was an "initiation," saying she was handing him "the scoop." "That is crap!" Casey exploded, as Margo enjoyed schadenfreude at her old rival's expense. In Old Town, Em and Casey's argument continued and she offered to buy him dinner to mend fences. Of course, they saw Ali and Chris together at the Lakeview and Emily bolted. Casey followed her to Yo's, where dinner was bar nuts. Emily wasn't hot on them socializing. "You offered to feed me," Casey pointed out before challenging her to a game of pool. Cue one smokin' hot round with the balls. Pool shark Casey whipped Emily and she ended up buying him dinner after all. They ate in her office and Casey told her they had to face the world head on and be honest.

Sage threw a fit about going to sleepaway camp, and Carly tried to lay down the law. Jack walked in and threw his two cents in — that Sage shouldn't go if she doesn't want to. Holden made a list to make sure he had the girls' camp concerns down. At Java with Faith, Lucinda got a call from Lily and revealed Lily was on her way home today. Emma, meanwhile, worried about time apart hurting Holden and Lily's marriage. Carly and Jack went back and forth on the camp issue and Jack even brought up Simon again. "Wow, you guys went a whole FIVE minutes without fighting. It's a new record," gasped Parker. Chagrined, Carly and Jack used inside voices as she urged him to reconsider. Holden left for his road trip, assuring Emma his marriage wasn't in trouble. When he hit Milltown, suddenly Carly wasn't hot on the trip. She was having some doubts about her parenting ability, so Holden gave her a short test. (She passed with two out of three.) He said Jack needed to lighten up, that camp wouldn't kill Sage, and convinced her to go with him. Much laughter and bonding ensued. Back at the farm, Big Lucy and Faith told Emma that Lily was coming home and they decided to plan a surprise party. Lucinda and Emma warned Faith to not get her hopes up about Lily's mental state — and Lucinda really didn't think Lily was ready to come back. Holden and Carly drove back from a successful camp visit and, naturally, Holden blew a tire. Out on the windy road together, he admitted to Carly that he didn't know which Lily was coming home to him. (Hint: It's not Heather Rattray's...) It was Carly's turn to give Holden a test...which he passed with flying colors. She told him to hold on to Lily and their love. He then arrived home to the girls' party for Lily. Unfortunately, an apologetic Lucinda had news: Lily wasn't coming home after all. Holden and the girls were devastated. In Milltown, Carly gingerly gave Jack a report about camp and, fresh off watching Brad and Liberty, he agreed to let Sage go.

At the Lakeview, Brad told Katie that Juicy Janet swears Liberty is his daughter. She also said it's okay for Liberty to stay in Oakdale. Katie looked forward to "acting like parents," but Brad was more wary. If Katie wanted out of stepmom duty, he'd let her go. Katie was insulted by the implication. She loved him and wanted to spend her life with him! Upstairs, they found Liberty completely uninterested in going to school this late in the year. Katie bribed her with a new wardrobe from Fashions as Brad called Jack for school advice. Unfortunately, Lib totally pocketed a piece of jewelry, and Brad and Jack started arguing. Jack assured Brad he wasn't carrying a "secret torch" for Katie, wanting them to be friends. Lisa's security guard caught Liberty with her loot. Lisa was willing to let it go, but Brad declared, "Arrest her!" At the OPD, Jack and Katie were shocked by how long Brad had let Liberty stew in the interrogation room (hours!). Katie suggested grounding Liberty for a week. "Kids need rules," Brad reminded, ranting. Katie noted she's a chip off the ol' block. Meanwhile, Parker went in to reassure Liberty, given that he's got mad experience in the jail department. Liberty clearly found Parker's rap sheet a little hot. At Katie's behest, Brad went in to talk to his delinquent darling but she just wasn't havin' it. She blasted him for bossing her around and Brad sounded so frighteningly parental, the recapper actually boggled. When their voices rose, Jack and Katie rushed in. Katie defended her new hubby to his new kid and apologies were traded. Brad looked thunderstruck when Lib called him "Dad." And Liberty gave Parker a look on her way out. Back at the Lakeview, a fashion show ensued and Brad thanked Katie for her help today.

Katie found Brad obsessing over the DNA results. She praised his dad skills so far and they cuddled amorously. Of course Liberty walked in. Awkward! Trying to bolt, she told them to have all the sex they wanted. Spying her bare midriff top, Brad nixed her exit. "You look like a..." Brad sputtered. "A Harajuku girl?" Lib suggested, liking how she'd adjusted the top Katie bought her. Liberty kept trying to get out of school, to no avail. Brad took her to Al's for breakfast. There, Brad begged Parker to help Lib adjust, which amused Parker to no end. Katie ran into Jack in Old Town and he told her, "Everything's great, thanks to you," talking about how he'd taken her advice about Carly. Katie was glad and all, but said she didn't want to hear about his problems with his ex. (Burn!) Brad then told a flummoxed Henry about his maybe-daughter. He asked for advice, since Henry practically raised Maddie. "Be afraid, be very afraid," warned Henry. "Teenage girls are elusive on purpose." Good advice, since Liberty had found a posse of guys to cut third period with. Brad told Henry he advocated tough love and Henry concurred, "lock her away until she's about 40." The guys dared Liberty to jump into the reservoir. She accepted for $20 a piece. Parker tried to dissuade her (yup, he's a Snyder man alright) but she took the dive, and the cash! Parker wasn't impressed, even when she offered him part of the take. Katie told Jack they were now "friends with boundaries." Back at Al's, Vienna was exhausted from rising early. "This has got to stop," said Henry, deciding they needed to be jet-setting instead of "besmirching" V's elbows with pancake batter. Vienna offered a compromise: They could have someone watch the diner and go away to Chicago for a weekend. Liberty convinced Parker to take the money and dragged him off to spend it (They're mini-Carjack! Can we call them...Puberty?) When Brad and Katie caught them cutting school, Liberty spouted a sob story about "mean girls" stuffing her in a shower and Parker taking care of her. Katie hugged the felonious "little gentleman." Brad wanted to confront the girls but Lib dissuaded him — and didn't have to go back to class. "You're good," Parker marveled. Later at WOAK, a worried Brad wanted to go check on Liberty. Liberty invited Parker into their suite but he turned her down (after some flirting!). When Brad and Katie arrived home, Liberty hid whatever mischief she'd been up to and Brad got a call from Susan: the results would be in tomorrow.

At the farm, Carly found Jack eating breakfast. She was here on "business." She wanted to pay her share of the bills, the mortgage on the house, etc. Jack rattled off the number and she gasped, "That's a lot." She felt like a charity case, promising that next month she'd be good for the cash. In the car, Holden tried to explain to the girls why Lily wasn't coming home. Cynical Faith didn't buy his excuses. Holden tried to reassure them that Lily loves her but is having a rough year. Well, what about Lily loving him? Holden sidestepped and shooed them to school. Jack cautioned Carly about reopening Metro on her own. He and Holden then discussed the issue. Emma walked in with eggs, noting Jack was not his usual self. "He's worried about Carly," said Holden, saying Jack's underestimating her. Emma warned him not to get involved. Carly arrived at Metro and realized water was everywhere. She went to get her toolbox. Holden showed up, slipped and fell. LOL! When he stood, he offered to help Carly with her plumbing (wink, wink). Of course, when they tried to tighten the pipe, the sink pretty much exploded on them! "You're going to need a professional plumber," diagnosed wet Holden before asking for advice about Lily. "Just hang in there for a little bit longer," Carly said, noting the kids always suffered for their mistakes. Jack walked in on them sharing a laugh. "You had to be there," Holden told Jack before excusing himself. Alone, Jack wished Carly success and they shared a warm moment. Back at the farm, Emma gave Holden A Look and he assured her he was staying out of Carjack. Of course, then Carly called him and thanked him for his plumbing skills and his friendship.