Whose Line?
“I’ve been waiting ever since for some female casting director to take her top off and throw me on the couch. It never happens.” — On the casting couch myth, 2/1/00
“I was on a second date with this girl in high school. We were driving down the street and she said she wasn’t feeling well. Before she could even spit the sentence out, she vomited yellow corn all over my shirt and pants. And she swore she hadn’t eaten corn in months!” — On his worst date, 1/23/01
“I feel self-conscious at my age having to do kissing scenes. I spent many years as an actor doing them with some sort of reality, and now it’s hard for me to do that because — as the wonderful Ivy had a line the other day — ‘It’s disgusting to watch middle-aged people slobbering all over each other.’ Rebecca is a young, hot little number, but for me to be doing that, I’m thinking in the back of my mind, ‘This is so embarrassing.’ ” — 3/20/01
“The ability to vaporize people who deserve it. I hate people who drive slow in the fast lane.” — On which superpower he would want and why, 5/23/00
“It’s like his own personal erector set, his own Lego set and he gets to dictate the outcomes of all these twisted lives. Even at my old age, I’m in quite a bit of awe of his talent.” — On PASSSIONS Head Writer/Creator James E. Reilly, 8/29/00
“Always keep the shower curtain inside the shower.” — On the most important lesson he has learned, 6/11/02
“Why would I want to?” — When asked if it is hard to meet potential mates, 8/13/02
“Have you seen the women on this show? Makes a bulldog break his chain!” — On his beautiful female co-stars, 6/4/02
“I got to my dressing room, and there was a note on the door saying I had to go down to wardrobe to try on diapers. I thought they must have had too much Diet Coke, but I went down anyway, and they were like, ‘Are you ready?’ And I said, ‘For what?’ They replied, ‘You’re being fitted for a diaper.’… So I stood there in my underwear, and they put different-sized diapers on me.” — 6/4/02
“If I’m living [as] Julian and I’m kissing Dr. Eve, it’s like I almost have a stroke whenever I kiss her, and then it’s like I’m walking 12 inches off the ground until I get back to my dressing room.” — On sharing kisses with Eve’s Tracey Ross, 8/5/03
Conversation
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