The Top 10 Oakdale Adoptions
The residents of Oakdale are obsessed with babies: raising them, having them — and not having them. Here are soap children from other shows who could fill the empty homes and hearts of some of AS THE WORLD TURNS’ most loving and lonely characters.
1. Craig: GENERAL HOSPITAL’s Michael Corinthos
Sans Bryant, Lucy and Johnny, Craig is in desperate need of a mini-Montgomery to carry on the family traditions of lying, cheating, stealing and being a general pain in the rear. Who but Port Charles’ own hit-ordering carrot-topped mini-mobster Michael could fill that void in Craig’s cold, black heart?
2. Barbara: THE YOUNG AND THE RESTLESS’ Noah Newman
Busybody Babs is all about being up in her children’s and grandchildren’s business. Pampered Newman prince Noah is used to being the center of four parents’ and two grandparents’ worlds. Barbara could easily offer five people’s worth of attention (and all those presents).
3. Susan: GUIDING LIGHT’s Will
Poor Susan struck out with daughters Emily and Alison, raising a nutty ex-hooker and a former porn star with low self-esteem, respectively. If she
takes in Springfield’s own psychotic little Omen, Will, there’s absolutely no chance that she can mess him up any worse. Of course, it would also cut short her life expectancy dramatically. Ya win some, ya lose some.
4. Sofie: GUIDING LIGHT’s Jude, Zach, Leah, James, Kevin, Jason and Clarissa
Oakdale’s sweet, sugary Sofie could fill the ache of giving up Hallie and fulfill her natural role as princess Snow White with Springfield’s seven dwarves er, seldom-seen children. Bet they’d even whistle while they worked!
5. Katie: AMC’s Colby
Blonde, sometimes-selfish Katie could find her match — and mirror image — in the formerly spoiled Chandler scion. Maybe they could learn to grow up together — with the rapidly-maturing Colby setting the pace.
6. Dusty: GH’s Spinelli
Dusty has already taken confused orphan Noah under his wing, so GH’s even more confused and wayward Jackal would be a perfect fit for the dashing and heroic “Dustbusting One.” Plus, who are we kidding, it would be hilarious to watch.
7. Meg: ONE LIFE TO LIVE’s Jack
Judging by Craig, Meg does seem to like those kooky, I-nearly-killed-a-baby types, so the son of OLTL’s Todd would be a perfect fit for her. Plus, there’s something vaguely familiar about the guy…
8. Rosanna: THE BOLD AND THE BEAUTIFUL’s Hope, Aly and Abby
Brooke and Thorne’s little angels, along with Ashley’s transplanted cherub, have gotten lost in the Forrester shuffle. Rosanna could not only keep them in the lap of luxury, as they’re no doubt accustomed to, but she’s already survived a car crash, unlike Aly’s poor mama, Darla.
9. Henry and Vienna: PASSIONS’ Vincent
Okay, so Henry and V. probably wouldn’t benefit from taking in Julian and Eve’s overgrown and overly psychotic child. This would be Vincent’s coup: He could raid the former cross-dresser’s and the fashionista’s respective wardrobes for himself and herself…er, Valerie.
10. Holden: ATWT’s Bonnie
What’s that you say, it’s cheating for Holden to adopt the barely-legal eagle on his own show? Sure, adoption is more paperwork than a marriage, but the bright side is, he doesn’t have to worry about her getting half his stuff when they break up.
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