The Best And Worst On BTG, B&B, DAYS, GH And Y&R The Week Of Aug. 11-15

From a maternity shocker on Beyond The Gates to Danny stepping up for his little sister on General Hospital and Mariah’s meltdown on The Young and the Restless, here are our critics’ picks for the best and worst on soaps last week.

The Best

General Hospital: Danny “Rescues” Scout

“Am I in trouble?” Danny asked Jason after he brought Scout back to the Quartermaines on his bike. The answer was yes — Danny hadn’t signed Scout out from day camp, he just “took her.” Jason said they had to call Drew but Scout begged him not to because she wanted to spend more time at the Qs (where she lived after her mom Sam died) and her dad never lets her do that. Alexis arrived to calm the situation — then Drew showed up with Chase to arrest Danny for “abducting a congressman’s daughter.”

You can’t be serious, scoffed Alexis as Jason warned his brother not to try to punish him through his son. Chase refused to do Drew’s dirty work, agreeing only to give Danny a warning. “My little sister was sad and alone,” defended Danny, an argument appreciated by everyone except the girl’s father. Alexis pleaded with Drew to “cut the crap” for Scout’s sake; he retaliated by forbidding Alexis from having any contact with her granddaughter at all. By week’s end, he was getting slugged by Michael for speaking to Wiley without consent.

It’s a mark of how low Drew has sunk that GH can so effectively use the next generation to make him despised by the entire canvas — from “Grandma Monica” down to Danny. Next up: Whodunnit?!

Beyond The Gates: Leslie is Barbara’s Daughter

Who saw this coming? One day the villainous (and broke) Leslie was ordering her daughter Eva to get more moolah out of her father Ted, and the next she was pooh-poohing a letter saying she stood to inherit money.

“I’ve been around the block too many times,” scoffed Leslie as Eva begged her to respond to the possibility it could be true. Leslie later opened the door to her mother bearing (seemingly unconnected) bad news: She’s dying. Leslie refused to believe it, and then Peaches dropped another bombshell: Barbara was her birth mother.

“My mother was an Articulette?” responded an incredulous Leslie. “What am I supposed to do with this information?” Cash in on it, apparently. Peaches explained that Leslie stood to inherit a fortune from Barbara — a fact BTG viewers knew was true because Barbara’s former singing partner Anita Dupree had set up a fund.

In fact, while Leslie was being told this life-altering news, Anita was telling Vernon she had come to terms with Barbara’s long-ago suicide. “I just have to trust that Barbara’s family has made peace with what happened,” sighed Anita.

As Leslie might say, oh, child…

Days of Our Lives: Sarah Busts Xander

Hot on the heels of Xander getting smooched by Gabi, the recently returned Gwen planted one on him, too — and Gwen couldn’t wait to share the news with Xander’s estranged wife.

“I know you jumped into bed with that British slut,” spit Sarah after slapping him across the face. Xander claimed innocence, but Sarah said she heard it straight from Gwen. Okay… he did drown his sorrows with Gwen after he and Sarah had a huge fight, and they did kiss… but that was it. “I could never cheat on you!” insisted DAYS’s crooked Kiriakis.

How very honorable, eye rolled Sarah, correctly pointing out that kissing is cheating. Worse, it was with that horrible woman who did horrible things to Sarah (like drug her). The only reason Xander didn’t go through with it, added Sarah with dripping sarcasm, was because he was “too drunk to show off his virility and amazing stamina.” Ouch.

Xander immediately confronted the pot-stirring Gwen who admitted she may have exaggerated their encounter “a wee bit” to Sarah — but the damage was done.

Bold and Beautiful: Sheila and Li Team Up

“My granddaughter’s alive!” exulted Sheila after she busted into Li’s secret room and found Luna comatose but breathing. Finn’s bio mom and adoptive mom then joined forces to keep his criminal daughter alive — but with wildly different ideas on how to do it.

“I am going to reform you,” Li announced to Luna, saying her goal was to make sure Luna doesn’t turn out like her pill-popping mother Poppy. The wildly unappreciative Luna told her grandma to “chill” and then waxed rhapsodic about her crush Will Spencer (despite the fact that Will hates Luna and is in love with Electra). Li reminded Luna she put everything on the line to keep her alive, and risked her medical career in the process. “I won’t take any crap,” Li told the ungrateful murderer.

Sheila took a different tack. She stood in the shadows at Il Giardino eavesdropping as Brooke and Katie celebrated Will’s new position at Forrester. “Whatever happens, Luna will not be involved,” commented Brooke about his upcoming promotion party. Yes, nodded the group, who all expressed relief Luna was “dead.”
Sheila returned to the secret room and gleefully reported details of Will’s upcoming bash to her lunatic granddaughter. Luna’s wheels immediately started turning…

The Worst

Young and Restless: Mariah’s Meltdown

How long is Mariah going to cry about “the bad thing” she did without telling anyone what it was? (We’re going on four months.)

“What happened that was so terrible that you felt you had to leave your wife and child?” Sharon asked Mariah last week for the umpteenth time. Mariah spouted her usual drivel that this is the way it has to be and she needs to be alone to work it out in therapy, blah blah. Sharon reminded her daughter that she is also a trained therapist and believes living with these toxic feelings is very unhealthy.

“For me to be fully involved in my daughter’s life I have to reinvent myself,” responded Mariah. Cryptic much? Sharon suggested Mariah forgive herself for whatever happened, but that just set her off more. “Mom, enough!” yelled Mariah. “You have to give me time or I’m going to distance myself from you, too.”

Distance is a good word for this story, because it couldn’t be further away from every other tale Y&R is showcasing. Mariah is on a story-telling island, barely mentioned unless she’s ordering Sharon or Tessa to leave her alone. Whatever potential this story might have had when it started is being severely squandered by its wildly uneven pacing.

Spill, or get off the pot!

GH: Chase Confides in Willow?

Remember when Willow left Chase to enter a marriage of convenience with Michael to help him get custody of Wiley (from Nelle)? Or when she married Chase on his “deathbed” even though she’d fallen in love with Michael? Or when Chase was devastated to learn Willow was sleeping with Michael in their bed?

Chase doesn’t. In fact, his unfaithful ex is now his go-to for advice about his marriage to Brook Lynn, despite their painful history and the fact that Willow blew up her own life so spectacularly she lost custody of her kids.

“Given everything that’s going on with Gio, Brook Lynn has decided she doesn’t want to adopt right now,” Chase confided to Willow. “I want a child so bad, and I’m starting to think it’s never going to happen.” Willow was sympathetic, as was Chase when he gushed that she’s a good mom who really loves her kids (the illicit sex she had with her husband’s uncle in her kids’ playroom notwithstanding).

Setting aside the common sense that Chase would actually turn to someone like his brother Finn for guidance, the last person a normal dude would confide in is the ex-wife who cheated on him. Especially in this instance where Willow is in no mental condition to offer help (she had just confessed she slapped Lucas and was facing hospital discipline). We’re all for exes having soapy run-ins, but basic logic is needed to make them believable.