(From l. to r.) Jordan (Colleen Zenk) drinks the tea on Y&R; Ava (Maura West) and Ric (Rick Herbst) heat up on GH; Liam (Scott Clifton) emerges on B&B.

The Best

Young and Restless: Bye, Jordan!

It took over a year, but the Newmans finally vanquished the lunatic who tried to kill them. Claire lured her nutbag aunt to the tack house and handed her poisoned tea, but she yanked it back after Jordan said she knew where Sharon was. That raised Jordan’s suspicions, which were confirmed when Nikki and Victoria showed up.

“My, you’re looking sober,” snarked Jordan to Nikki, who clapped back that it was no thanks to Jordan. The escaped con thought she had the upper hand with Sharon’s location in her back pocket; enter Victor and Nick. They were surprised to see their female fam there but quickly began interrogating the prisoner. Jordan said Ian killed Heather (so it would be blamed on Sharon) and she wanted a valid escape plan in exchange for Sharon’s life.

Brrrring! Mariah called Nick’s phone to tell him Sharon was safe. With no way out, Jordan gulped down the poisoned tea and played a death scene worthy of a well-coiffed King Lear. But just when the Newman ladies thought the nightmare was over, they had a new problem: “What were the three of you thinking?” demanded Victor.

Bold and Beautiful: Liam Comes Out Of Hiding

Family members are out of sight, out of mind on B&B (sorry Wyatt!) so it’s refreshing when a seldom-scene A-lister shows up — especially when it’s to call BS on a loved one. In this case, it was Liam popping over to his dad’s house to demand an explanation why Bill has been MIA.

“Is something going on?” asked Liam, pointing out that Bill has been isolating at home instead of presiding over his kingdom at Spencer Publications. Bill claimed he just wanted a little “me time,” which Liam rightly called out as weird. Viewers know Bill has murderer Luna stashed away in his mansion (after making some fakakta deal for her to serve out her sentence on house arrest) and he’s keeping her hidden from everyone. Well, everyone except his son who can tell something is indeed going on. Bill finally explained there’s more to life than work, causing Liam to surmise his dad must still be hurting from Luna’s lie that Bill was her father.

“It all comes back to Luna,” said Liam. He doesn’t know how right he is.

General Hospital: Ric Kisses Ava!

They’ve been building to it since Ava lost her money and the check she wrote to Ric (for successfully defending her re: manslaughter) bounced. Ric agreed to keep representing her, though — our first clue that he was interested in more than Ava’s bank account. As things heated up in Ava’s custody battle with Sonny, Ric said she needed to rent an apartment to show the judge she could provide a stable home for Avery and he lead her to one he thought could work.

“Why did you take me to the place where claustrophobia was born?” sniffed Ava as she surveyed the humble apartment he suggested. “It’s in your price range,” retorted Ric. They bantered about her money woes until Ava snapped that Nina warned her about Ric and she should have listened. He was taken aback until Ava confessed she’d lost Laura as a character witness and felt abandoned. “I’m on your side,” he said, leaning in for a passionate kiss.

Ava smiled and took the apartment — no closing argument needed.

Days of Our Lives: Philip and Xander Plot A Takeover

Hit ’em when they’re down! That was Stefano DiMera’s motto, so Victor would be pleased that his sons are joining together to launch a hostile takeover of his late enemy’s company. “The time is now,” asserted Xander, detailing how Kristen, EJ, Chad and Stefan were all either distracted or out of the picture. The brothers debated the sleaziness of attacking DiMera Enterprises when Kristen’s daughter Rachel was missing but reasoned their way out of it by saying Rachel wasn’t kidnapped, she ran away.

“I’m confident Rachel will turn up safe and sound,” said Xander, putting a button on the argument by reminding Philip that Kristen had blackmailed him with the antidote to Sarah’s paralysis. Both Stefano and Victor were the definition of ruthless, said Xander — why shouldn’t the Kiriakis brothers go after the DiMeras?

“Game on,” agreed Philip.

The Worst

B&B: Where’s Donna?

Now that Liam has made a welcome reappearance (see above) it’s time for Donna to sashay out of her primary suite at the Forrester mansion and tell Taylor to scram. Donna rightly phoned Brooke a few weeks back to tattle that Ridge was performing his trademark “rose petals on the bed” move with Taylor, but it’s time for her to rope Eric into her outrage. Think of all the drama B&B is missing by having Ridge woo Taylor in the same house where Brooke’s sister lives! Forcing Eric to choose between his son and his wife could be a powerful arc, and don’t discount the value of a juicy catfight between Donna and Taylor à la the ones Donna used to have with Stephanie. She’s got it in her; don’t play with the latest Mrs. Forrester.

“My parents are back together again!” exulted Steffy to Finn last week, gushing that the silver lining of the Forrester Creations coup was that Ridge’s eyes were “finally opened.” Here’s hoping Donna will soon be blocking their view.

DAYS: You’re A Soap Star… And You’re A Soap Star!

Please welcome Dr. Kayla Brady to the long list of bakers, bloggers and business people now starring on Body and Soul, the local soap opera that continues to eat the show.

“The best recast is you, Kayla,” said cop-turned-producer Abe Carver after Bonnie fell down a prop elevator shaft. Kayla argued that she’s not an actress and Abe pointed out Bonnie wasn’t, either. (Actually, none of the “stars” of B&S are trained actors.) Kayla worried about neglecting her patients, Abe promised it would be temporary, and they struck a deal. “It’s completely silly,” said Kayla to Stephanie. Ya think?

B&S was entertaining in small doses, but when Salem faves Abe, Kate, Leo, Bonnie, Chanel, Alex and Hattie moved front-burner as sudden EPs, writers and actors, it went from kitsch to cringe. The biggest head scratcher? DAYS is full of trained, talented professionals who are telling a story about how you don’t need training or talent to put on a soap opera!

In Kayla’s case, all she needed was a wig.