Quick Take With Marci Miller

Welcome back! How was it to have time at home after giving birth to Willett? “It was much-needed because it was a very steep, and continues to be, a very steep learning curve for me. I did not grow up babysitting or around babies or kids or anything like that, so everything is new. I literally changed my first diaper ever in my life while I was pregnant. I had a friend that had a baby and I was just sitting there pregnant, asking her questions and said, ‘Danielle, I have never changed a diaper,’ and she took me in the back and I changed her kid’s diaper. So, it’s been a lot of Googling, a lot of watching classes and things, but then on the connection/emotional side, it’s just so fulfilling. My husband took time off of work, as well, so we were able to have four hands on deck full-time and just really pore over this little person. And that feels good as a mom to know at the very least, I’m doing everything I possibly can.”

What was it like to return to work? “It’s a shift. It’s a two-sided coin. On one hand, it’s really great to reclaim those parts of your identity, and have some moments to myself. The drive to and from work is nice, to sit in a car by yourself. But then I miss her. I miss being at home. I’m worried, I’m curious and it’s this weird, mystical thing that mothers have when you’re not staring at your kid, you’re pining for them or curious about them or watching videos of them. And my husband was staying home with her, so that was a whole thing, too, because there are some things that mom does easiest and best, and I was worried about him. My frame of reference has shifted. Things that were not as important before are and vice versa, so how does work fit into this new frame of, ‘Okay, I’m a parent, I’m a mother. It’s not possible for me to spend the amount of time on my work as it once was.’ Work used to be my child, in a way, so learning on all fronts, oh, my goodness.”

Have any of the mothers on set given you advice? “Yeah, Mary Beth Evans [Kayla] has definitely told me a couple of things and she’s always curious. Deidre [Hall, Marlena] always wants to see videos and that’s been fun, to hear her stories with her kids.”

Are you looking forward to playing a story with Abigail’s kids now that you’re a mom? “Yes, because your perspective changes with every chapter of life. You think you know what heartbreak is until your heart is broken. You think you know what it’s like to be in love until you are. I am so crazy sensitive to things that pertain to children now that have not fazed me before. The other day we were watching MARE OF EASTTOWN and there was a scene where this 1-year-old baby was crying; the baby just needed to scream and cry in the crib and I can’t stand it because I’m thinking, ‘They’re shooting this and they’re just letting this baby scream. It breaks my heart.’ I’m significantly more sensitive and I hoped that it would happen. I would love to feel that I authentically could tell those stories.”