It’s Only My Opinion For The Soap Week Ending October 24

Y&R’s Lily (Christel Khalil), GH’s Ric (Rick Hearst) and B&B’s Bill (Don Diamont) are all mired in messy family drama.

I don’t get it when fans say, “Just let so-and-so be happy!” Because if the stories aren’t messy, there’s no soap opera.

What’s messier than sudden children? Personally, I like the twist that GH’s Sasha is Holly and Robert’s daughter. As retcons go, Sasha’s backstory makes much more sense to me than Drew being the unknown son of Alan Quartermaine (and twin of Jason Morgan), Nelle and Willow being twins unwittingly birthed by Nina while she was in a coma, or Cody being the sudden product of a union between Mac and Dominique. Holly and Robert were married — we watched it! — and they are both still on screen. And who cares if GH is playing fast and loose with the dates? Josslyn was born in 2009 and is a college student on her third serious boyfriend! Soap timing is always off.

Sasha’s new tie adds to the Scorpio family, puts the kibosh on her romance with Cody since they are now first cousins (!), and ties mother and daughter together as seasoned conwomen. Nothing was funnier than Holly learning Sasha was a cook at the Quartermaines and asking incredulously, “Do you do dishes?” Oh, the horror!

Wisely, GH used Maxie to voice doubt about the retcon. She chastised Holly about keeping her daughter’s existence a secret from Robert (Maxie’s uncle), lying to Sasha, and being an all-around bad mom.

Holly: “I visited as often as I could.”

Maxie: “In between scams.”

Maxie’s skepticism helped sell this farfetched tale, and Holly’s heartfelt pleas to Robert to “take care of our daughter” made it seem like she genuinely cares about Sasha. I buy it.

I also buy Ric’s machinations to defend Ava re: the accidental death of Molly/Kristina’s baby. Ric thinks proving Ava’s innocence will help his daughter forgive her half sister Kristina, which is necessary for Molly to move forward. Worlds collided at the PC Grill.

Ric: “You well?”

Kristina: “Could be better. Could be home with my daughter.”

Ric: “You mean Molly’s daughter. Wasn’t that the agreement? You donate the egg and carry the baby so your sister could have the family she’s always dreamed of?”

Kristina flipped out and knocked Ric’s drink out of his hand just as a horrified Alexis walked in. Turned out, Ric knew Alexis and Kristina would be there and he provoked the public scene to help prove Kristina is unhinged.

Ava: “You sly dog.”

Equally messy is Y&R’s Lily putting the screws to Billy by ratting him out to his mother for firing her from Chancellor. Soap family businesses look like fun with their private planes and boozy offices until the CEO’s mother orders someone to do something and you realize he has to do it.

Jill (to Billy): “Right this ship. Fire Phyllis and get Lily back.”

Will Billy’s ego let him do that?

Billy: “I’m still the one with power.”

Lily: “Enjoy being the big bad boss because that’s all going to change when your mommy comes back.”

It’s refreshing that Lily’s happiness is based on her professional success instead of a man, and she’s got a good Plan B with a job waiting for her at Winters with her brother.

Devon: “That’s what our father would want. What he wouldn’t want is his daughter going to war with Victor Newman over a company her name isn’t even on. He’d want you to carry on his legacy.”

For drama, you can’t beat Devon marrying the daughter of the man who lied to Lily about making her CEO.

Devon: “How do you act like everything’s cool?”

Victor: “Isn’t it?”

Devon: “You used my sister to get what you want and then screwed her over. How do you figure it’s cool?”

Because he’s Victor! Jack knows all about that. The Mustache has been messing with him for decades, most recently hiring Jack’s son to work at Glissade with proprietary info stolen from Jabot.

Victor: “You have lost all control of your family, that must really hurt.”

Jack: “This is all about Nikki, paying me back for trying to help her. Manipulating my son to steal from his own family is the kind of bottom scraping payback you would come up with.”

Victor: “I am going to sleep very well tonight.”

Will Diane? Rapidly aged children are as common as sudden offspring, and Diane has yet to pay for ditching Kyle in 2011 when he was 10. Naturally, Kyle is now in his thirties with a school-aged son and three marriages behind him — and a mother who recently fired him.

Diane: “I don’t know if I want a relationship with Kyle. He’s a greedy, selfish brat who is a poor imitation of the loving boy I raised.”

Jack: “Until you left him and never looked back. You abandoned Kyle and wormed your way back into our lives by playing the loving wife and mother until you got exactly what you came back for — the top job at Jabot. I blame myself for not seeing you for who you are.”

Yes! Use Diane’s chaotic history to shake up her marriage to Jack. Happy couples aren’t soapy.

Compared to the Abbotts’ travails, Bill Spencer’s problems with his son, Will, on B&B are nothing.

Will: “I’m working at Forrester Creations.”

Bill: “What are they going to teach you, how to stitch a sequin? No son of mine is going to be getting coffee for a bunch of dressmakers.”

Will: “The girls are outrageous.”

Bill: “You took this internship for the girls? It all makes sense.”

Bill’s efforts to romance his ex-wife, Katie, are more fraught because their son is like fat chance.

Will: “You left mom for her sister. More than once.”

Ouch.

Over on DAYS, fans knew Chad was never going to be happy with Fake Abigail, so it was hard to watch him fall hook, line and stinker for her DNA scam.

Patch (re: Mark): “This joker falsified the results.”

Chad: “You’re not Abby? Start talking. Why are you pretending to be my dead wife?”

The convoluted story spilled out, forcing Chad to relive the pain of losing Abigail all over again now that he knew his new “wife” was an impostor.

Fake Abigail: “This was all Clyde’s plan. I actually have feelings for you.”

Chad: “I will make you pay.”

Good… and messy!

Hey. It’s only my opinion.