Wiseguys Extra! (Part Two)

There wasn’t a single moment of repartée in our recent Q&A with AS THE WORLD TURNS’s Michael Park (Jack) and GUIDING LIGHT’s Ricky Paull Goldin (Gus) — in Digest’s 12/11 issue — that didn’t elicit uproarious laughter all around. Even their nonsensical tangents had us giggling, which is why there’s so much left over, and we’re sharing everything. (Well, everything that they won’t shoot us for printing.)

If you missed it, you can read Part One here.

Ricky Paull Goldin: The last girl that I took [to eat] here that I don’t get along with at all, it was a bad outcome. It turns out she’s allergic to shellfish.

Michael Park: And she found it out that night?

Goldin: That night. She blew up like a puffer fish. So I had a flashback to that.

Park: Really? What hospital is around here?

Goldin: That’s the problem: it’s very far away. [Both laugh.]

Park (pointing to himself, then Goldin): Abbott. Costello. Costello, Abbott.

Goldin (finding the disha): There it is … no. It’s a lobster dish, is all I can tell you. It’s fantastic.

Park: I’m glad you found it. Now shut the thing and let’s get on with this.

Goldin (talking over Park): It’s like fra diavolo, if you will.

Publicist (arriving): Michael, did you get your drink?

Park (whispering): No, they only have three scotches here.

Publicist: They didn’t have what you wanted?

Park: No, it doesn’t matter.

Goldin: You like single malt?

Park: Yeah. They have The Glenlivet 12, but not The Glenlivet 18.

Goldin: How many numbers is a better number? I don’t know about scotch.

Park: The Glenlivet 18 has been talked about as the best scotch….

Goldin: Glenn Levitt? And it’s spelled Levitt?

Park: No, The Glenlivet.

Goldin: Glenn.

Park: One word. Why are you being difficult?

Goldin: Was that the guy? Glenn Levitt?

Park: There’s no reason to spit on me. I didn’t do anything to you.

Goldin: That’s because I bit my lip. I was eating that “al dente” pasta [during the shoot].

Park: Al dente? A.k.a. straw.

Goldin: A.k.a. did not make it through. Honestly, is Glen Levitt one guy’s name? Glenn. Levitt.

Park: No, that’s not his name. Probably his last name.

Goldin: I bet you it is. When I was a kid, I used to think Mick Jagger was one whole name: Mickjagger. I was a little slow.

Goldin: Do they let you bring your dogs over there [to the ATWT studio]?

Park: I don’t have any dogs.

Goldin: I have a dog and they don’t let me bring it to work.

Park: Why do you have a dog?

Goldin (laughing): Because I’m lonely.

Park: You can’t find love anywhere else? I want to hook you up with someone.

Goldin: She doesn’t shed….

Park: Again, we don’t need to talk about your dog; I have three children. Real people. I’m sure your dog makes you feel better. Makes you feel good.

Goldin: Let me tell you, I might even like animals better than I like babies.

Park: I don’t think so. I think you’d like to have a child, right? No offense to any dog owners out there — I think they’re fantastic. I think dogs are great with kids. So you need a child.

(continued below…)Goldin: Mmm-hmm. I would definitely have a couple of kids, I just don’t know….
Soap Opera Digest: Both of you have Emmy nominations in common, your characters are similar, you both have been in this industry for a while —

Park: Harley, Carly … Broadway. He’s got a mom, I’ve got a mom.

Goldin: We’re both Procter & Gamble boys. That’s kind of funny, weird.

Park: We both have black hair.

Goldin: You’re tall, dark—

Park: The similarities are endless!
Digest: But you have the same experience as leading men.

Goldin: I don’t look at myself as a leading man.

Park: I’m always supporting.

Goldin: Well, I didn’t think that.

Park: You’re not an ingenue. Your ingenue days are over. Were you ever on the cover of Teen Beat?

Goldin: I think I was in a little thumb nail underneath the bar code! I was saying that I’m never pictured in the leading man sort of way, it’s more of the anti, not soap opera person and I kind of feel the same way about you, you know. Though you do have a very chiseled jaw.

Park (laughs): There’s a reason why we were both nominated, I’d like to think. I was happy that you were nominated and you were one of the very first people who called and congratulated me.

Goldin: Can I tell you I’m glad I didn’t win because if I’d won, the one person I didn’t want to upset … you.

Park: You wouldn’t have upset me.

Goldin: It’s better that it wasn’t me or you. Let’s face it. He’s very competitive.

Park: I’m not competitive!

Goldin: With me!

Park: You’re making that up!

Goldin: I’m making that up, but I’m glad. It’s better that it wasn’t one of us.

Park: I’m just happy that my co-star won.

Goldin: That was great. I saw how happy you were.

Park: That was … I could’ve walked out.

Goldin: And I saw how happy you were that I didn’t win [laughs]. All my friends said the only reason they went to the Emmys, if I happen to be nominated, is to go because I can’t hide my face. There’s five people and all their pictures, their faces are all up [on the screen] and apparently I have this thing like, “Aw, damn!” Like you can see it! But in a healthy way, a human way.

Park: I always thought heroin/addict storylines always won.

Goldin: Well, they usually do. I don’t know, I was robbed.

Park: I think it’s the first time in history that a heroin addict storyline didn’t win.

Goldin: Only I could ruin that. Only I could blow a great storyline like a heroin addict.

Park: I felt bad for my wife, she really wanted it.

Goldin: But it wasn’t even heroin, it was pills.

Digest: You were up out of your chair applauding for Christian [LeBlanc, Michael, Y&R], Michael.

Park: He came up to me before. He sucked all the luck out of me.

Goldin: He told me he was sorry about that. [To Digest] Christian went up to him and said, “I’m sucking all the luck out of you,” and he didn’t realize what he was saying. Would you like to get up and do your acceptance speech now, Michael? For all of us? How long is this interview? Dedicate it to the us-ness of us.