Welcome back, GREEK! The second season finally kicked off last night, and the action picked up right after Spring Break (apparently, this school year is being played out in real time) with Greek Week activities, including a Greek Olympiad. But the real games were being played with the fallout of what happened in Myrtle Beach at the end of last season.

"It's like Die Hard in a building." —Wendy

More than just an awkward, slow-moving pastiche of the Bruce Willis action classic, this week's episode of THE MIDDLEMAN — in which an alien virus infected Ida with nanobots and turned her evil so she trapped Middleman and Wendy in the MiddleHQ — was packed with shout-outs to the companions of DOCTOR WHO — the "classic" version, as seen from 1963-'89:

MAD MEN continued to explore what appears to be this season's theme: the roles of women, and their influence on men.

This was a week of small victories for GENERAL HOSPITAL: NIGHT SHIFT — the best bits were small character moments scattered throughout an episode that was, itself, a bit dull. The predictability of the setups and lack of energy in the direction made the hour plod along.

THE MIDDLEMAN kicked off with the unsettling disclosure that Lacey had a sex dream about Pip. In her own words, PMGO (Puke My Guts Out)! But that was only the beginning of events in "The Vampiric Puppet Lamentation."

Okay, my favorite bit in this week's GH: NIGHT SHIFT came when Epiphany was on a date with Lando — er, Toussaint (Billy Dee Williams) — and she used a line from the movie Lady Sings the Blues — which starred Billy Dee Williams! How meta can you get?

Wow, THE MIDDLEMAN sure skirted the line of good taste early with that first-scene visit to the Batter of the Bulge Pancake House — those "panzercakes" and "lufftewaffles" gave me pause. But then it was on to good ol' videogame violence for Wendy and new squeeze Tyler. It's good to know Middleman rules allow for the Code 86 exception to constant surveillance, but the paperwork must be pretty embarrassing to fill out.

"It's been good, though, hasn't it? All of us, all of it; everything we did?"
—The Doctor

The season finale of DOCTOR WHO contained the biggest deus ex machina — wait...make that deus ex TARDIS in the series' entire 30-year history. A second Doctor? I have to ... er, hand it to executive producer Russell T. Davies for having the cajones to pull something like that out of his bag of tricks — even if said bag was carefully packed over the past three seasons (from the Doctor losing his hand in "The Christmas Invasion" to a machine growing a new person from the Doctor's cells in "The Doctor's Daughter").

My favorite bit in last night's second episode of GENERAL HOSPITAL: NIGHT SHIFT (no family relation to this column) came when newbie Claire blanched at Kyle's suggestion that they rent an apartment down by the docks — she called the area "totally mob-adjacent" and way too dangerous. Brava, Dr. Simpson (Carrie Southworth)! At least somebody in Port Charles is smart enough to duck when the lead starts flying! And thanks to the writers for underlining NS' intention to concentrate on the hospital instead of the gangsters. Let's hope no GSWs are brought in to the ER.

This week's episode of DOCTOR WHO was nothing less than a fanboy's dream that very nearly put me into a coma, thanks to the return of so many companions and so many references to past episodes. This episode was so dense that even I had to watch it twice and freeze-frame to get it all.