IN OUR OPINION

December 21, 2007

Thorsten Kaye (Zach)

— ABC

From Joe Diliberto
After years of searching — um, months of searching...what? Okay, weeks of searching, ALL MY CHILDREN's Kendall and Aidan finally found the pit their exes — er, significant others fell into. (No one had to draw the rescuers a map, just blueprints.) After a weird combo platter of hate/grief sex, Kendall and Aidan recruited Quentin to join the rescue party. Today, Q dropped into the bomb shelter to help Kendall retrieve zonked-out Zach. However, for no particular reason, the ceiling started to collapse. Had Kendall found Zach only to lose him again? How dramatic! How stupid! Why was the ceiling collapsing? It's a bomb shelter. It was designed and built to withstand a nuclear war. Kendall found the plans, which were clearly marked with the civil defense symbol, meaning it was intended to protect masses of people. (Related point: Why place it literally in the middle of a wilderness? It’s not likely the forest grew after the concrete was poured.) It's impossible to believe that waif-like Kendall proved to be too heavy a burden. Sure, she does Pilates, but how much could she weigh? (Apparently, anything placed underground in Pine Valley must collapse — see Greg Madden's coffin.) Even piling on Aidan and Quentin, there's no way they could have reached critical mass. This story imploded under the weight of its own strained credulity. What a bomb.

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IN OUR OPINION

December 21, 2007

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