"You know, it's call the paramedics if I break one before we tape." — On her famous nails, Soap Opera Digest, 1/3/84

"Katherine even looked at a plumber once, she was so desperate." — Lamenting Kay's dwindling love life, Digest, 7/7/98

"After I had two boys, I said, 'I'm going to try for a girl and if it's a third boy, I'm going to kill myself. If it's a girl, I'll live and have someone I can relate to!'" (Cooper got her wish with daughter Caren.) — Digest, 10/20/87

"If I Can't Outfight You, I Will Outlive You." — Discussing possible autobiography titles, Digest, 12/14/04

"On January 20th, CBS wanted a 'before' photo session —without lifts, no makeup, no nothing. And, oh, my God, talk about a fallen face!" — Before her first on-screen plastic surgery, Digest 8/14/84

"They're harmless, except if they light on you, then you raise a big welt." — Describing her experiences with tarantulas, Digest 1/29/80

"If I speak or use my hands, I'm a dead duck. If I turn around and I say, 'Do you know where the Alpo is?' they'll go, 'What are you doing here, Mrs. Chancellor?' I say, 'I've bought the store, you're going to have to leave now, I'm shopping!'" — On being spotted at the grocery store, Digest, 1/3/84

"Thank God in my life, I have never used drugs ... why, I shall never know." — A newly sober Cooper discussing her alcohol addiction, Digest, 10/20/87

"You can procrastinate and do nothing about what's troubling you — and you will procrastinate until you go six feet under." — On shaking off bad situations, Digest, 1/29/80

"I tell them not to be fooled by five fan letters — or 500 — saying how wonderful they are.... I also tell them to save their money and not take anything personally because this can be a very hard business." — Her advice to newcomers, Digest, 2/27/01