Wiseguys Extra! (Part One) Page 2

Digest: Competitive?
Goldin: He’s very competitive.
Park: Me? I’m not competitive!
Goldin: He’s very competitive.
Park: You know, you give Ricky an open mic for about five, 10 minutes and he’ll just go on and on and then I lean in and say, “Stop it!” He needs a governor.
Goldin: Yeah. So I needed a drunk man onstage playing Dean Martin.
Park: Now I take offense to that.
Goldin: No, no. We were great. We were both a little tipsy at the end of the night. It was the whole theme of the show. But we were drinking iced teas.
Park: It’s a joke. I was drinking water with olive oil in it because we were singing!
Goldin: We had a good time. When we do stuff together, I’m more of the pain in the butt before. I want it to be perfect.
Park: He also gets a little schized out about the little things.
Goldin: And he’s like, “Oh, what the hell.” Then, before you know it, he’s onstage singing and see, I get upset if I forget the words to a song. He couldn’t care less. He’ll get up there and say, “Hey! If anybody can help me out with this song….”
Park: He’s so absolutely lying right now. We’ve been doing this for a long time. I’ve been performing since I was 8, 9, 5, 9 years old.
Goldin: We have a lot of similarities is what it is. Him being a white boy that can sing….
Park: And you’re not?
Goldin: And I’m a white boy who tries to sing [laughs].
Park: Oh, give me a break. But it works out. We’re not going to say it’s a comedy show because it’s not that at all, but it’s two idiots onstage — and I hate to use the word idiot.
Goldin: We have a lot of friends that come out.
Park: Johnny Damon ruined that word for me, by the way [awkward pause]. You don’t know any sports references….
Goldin: No.
Park: Anyhoo…. No, it’s just a couple of guys onstage. We loosely threw together a show and loosely knew what we were talking about. And we totally winged it.
Goldin: We winged it.
Park: It was fun. People had a good time.
Goldin: I worry about the song list and the order of the songs and Michael’s like, “Hey! Whatever happens!” This next show will be kind of like Wayne’s World. Wouldn’t that be fun? It would be in a basement.
Park: Will we have a davenport on the stage? What does davenport even mean?
Goldin: What is that?
Park: Was it like Davenport, Michigan?
Goldin: It’s Davenport, Connecticut, isn’t it?
Park: Was the davenport couch or sofa made in Davenport, Maine?
Goldin: You’re showing your age.
Park: I’m just asking. Ricky, remember the thing about asking.
Goldin: You’re going through a midlife crisis, my friend.
Park: Are you?
Goldin: You are!
Park: I’m not! I don’t say, “slacks.” You say slacks. “Hey, you gonna wear those slacks?”
Goldin: Are you going to wear that leisure suit again?
Park: (ignoring him): They’re jeans, but you call them slacks. We were doing some press for CBS and we went shopping. Now going shopping with Ricky, he’s almost like a woman. You shop like a woman!
Goldin: Well, I have a metrosexual side to me.
Park: No, you are metrosexual. It’s not on the side, it’s what makes you. There’s nothing wrong with that.
Goldin: Well, thank you, Michael. I actually don’t.
Park: And you still tan. I know you do!
Goldin: No, I don’t anymore. Nope.
Park: You do, too! It’s bad for you.
Goldin: I know, I know.
Park: But when he shops … He’s in there talking, flirting with every woman. I was very impressed. It was good work.
Goldin: I’ll flirt with an 850-pound guy in a toll booth just to get through if I have to. It’s just a piece of my personality. It doesn’t mean that I want them….
Park: But he’s like, “Does my ass look good in these jeans?” [Goldin laughs.] And they had the buttons on there. [Points excitedly.] Those are the jeans! Those are the jeans he bought! The great thing is that you’re wearing them and I noticed them.
Goldin: These were Dean Frame’s pants [on AW], all right? ‘Cause I’m broke!