Today's episode of ONE LIFE TO LIVE made Cole look like a total fool. All Hannah had to do was plant a condom wrapper (which did not look open, by the way) and Starr's diploma (because every girl brings her diploma along for a tryst) in a far-away beach house and Cole assumed that Starr slept with James.

Tonight is the 35th Annual Daytime Emmy Awards bash in Los Angeles, and I'm not even going to attempt to make predictions. Trust me, I'm bad at it. You should've seen how far my jaw dropped back in 2005, when I was sitting in the press room at the New York fete (come baaaack here, Emmys, come baaaaack!). Pretty much everyone who was announced had me going, "Wait, WHAT?" Mala, meet Left Field.

As an alternative, I offer up completely manufactured awards courtesy of yours truly. They required no predicting whatsoever and are all in good fun

This week's wedding of Jake and Amanda on ALL MY CHILDREN was my favorite soap nuptials in a long time — thanks largely to Ricky Paull Goldin, who played Jake more like a regular guy than an idealized romantic hero so many male characters are forced to be.

TRUE BEAUTY is back on ABC, and the series is a lighthearted break from daytime's dramatic offerings, offering its own version of personal drama — and wild personalities.