December 9, 2009By Joe Diliberto Posted: Dec 9, 2009
It seems like the holidays (and hiatus) sneaked up in MELROSE PLACE, because the nighttime sudser wrapped up its "Who Killed Sydney?" mystery in an awkward, rushed fashion that felt really anticlimactic.
After spending so many weeks dragging things out and loading up on the red herrings, the reveal came via a jailhouse phone call and convenient flashback: Michael's wife, Vanessa, stabbed Syd in a jealous rage to keep Sydney from revealing that Vanessa was cheating herself — with Michael's son, David. In fact, he was probably the true father of Michael's other son, Noah. So Vanessa perforated Syd and dumped her in the pool. Yes, the pool in the central courtyard — where not one of the busybody neighbors bothered to look out the window if/when they heard a woman being slashed to death at the pool in the middle of the complex. But that was apparently a theme, because no one noticed when Violet drowned her mother's murderer in that very same pool. Well, no one except the newly arrived Amanda, who promptly lied to police in order to put Vi in her debt. Apparently Amanda figured she might need a mentally unstable sexpot in her back pocket at some point.
But at least Jonah finally had enough of Riley's mind games and gave her the ol' heave-ho after she again balked at marrying him. Jonah called himself and Riley "a total miss as a couple." He said it, so we don't have to!
Will Lauren, the world's worst "high-class" call girl, die after being roofied by a john? (Seriously, where does she find such loser clients?) Will Auggie get his drinking under control? Will MELROSE actually return from its winter hiatus in 2010? Does anyone care? Anyone...?