I am distressed to see GUIDING LIGHT devoting so much of what little time it has left to shoehorn Cyrus not only into storylines, but families. Murray Bartlett is a very appealing actor, but I find Cyrus to be an appalling character, not a loveable rogue at all. Cyrus' airtime would be much better spent on a truly worthy bad boy, the fiery Jonathan and his mother, Reva.

But instead we get Cyrus trying to prove his hero cred by pretending it's 1799 and finding buried treasure to help Buzz solve his money problems. Money problems that largely stem from Buzz's bizarre decision to post Cyrus' bail. (Tell me again why Buzz bet his beloved Company on that international scoundrel...) GL has decided to retcon the retcon that Cyrus and Grady were brothers. In order to decouple Cyrus from Tammy's despised killer, GL has decided that Cyrus faked the fraternal link. The treasure trail took the thief and the restaurateur to Australia, where Jenna Bradshaw decided to bury a box under a tree. (Since this is a redemption story, I guess burying the box was an ode to The Shawshank Redemption.) So what was in the box? No, not Gwyneth Paltrow's head (that would have been too Se7en. Wrong movie.) Dog tags. Tags that "prove" Cyrus is Jenna's son. And thus Coop's brother. Huh? My horrified colleague Mala immediately IM's me that this revelation means Harley slept with her brother's brother. And Marina slept with her (sort-of) uncle. What the—? Buzz immediately embraced Cyrus. Again, what the—? Why is Buzz so obsessed with Jenna's bastard kid from when she was 16, considering that he abandoned her son, Rocky, and barely mentions his own daughters, Harley and Lucy, anymore! It's simply ridiculous.

After reading the dog-eared note Jenna penned, Buzz stared at Cyrus and declared, "I guess this was all about you." Can the show stop being all about him now?